


Titan's Fall

by Innocentfighter



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Eren suffers, Gen, Graphic Depictions of Illness, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Sorry, Long, Mentions of Cancer, My First Work in This Fandom, Suicide, everyone suffers, kind of, not a happy fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-11
Updated: 2014-04-11
Packaged: 2018-01-27 00:03:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 28,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1707464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Innocentfighter/pseuds/Innocentfighter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Not all stories have happy endings, some deserve them but those are the ones that have the worst endings possible. Even if you expect a bad ending, some are just worse. Eren Jaeger didn't expect to live through the war, but he didn't think he'd die like this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> First Attack on Titan fic, poems don't count. Okay, so this will be angsty, and not have a happy ending, I'm telling you this now to save you the pain if you don't like those types of things. So go on and read it! See ya at the bottom.
> 
> DISCLAIMER I DO NOT OWN AOT/SNK I only own the plot.

_I have a story to tell, if you have the time to listen. It is the tale of a young man born to do only one thing, the young man being none other than Eren Jaeger. You know his story? The boy with the passion to kill every titan. You may know that part, but you do not know the rest of it._

_Listen closely. I suppose I should tell you what happened a little after the final battle for humanity._

When Ymir fell, the other titans fell as well. Not unlike a hive. Eren, who had been in his titan form fell as well. Fortunately the ever faithful Mikasa cut him out of the titans neck. As expected Eren was unconscious when he was pulled out.

Humanity was victorious!

Humans by the dozens stumbled through the rubble of their once great walls, the walls that had withstood a century. The citizens, those closest to the outer walls managed to get as far as three miles away in the first month without Titans. The month was dubbed Titans' fall, and it took place when the leaves started to change.

The humans that were brave enough to leave their destroyed walls, started to build small hovels, the first independent settlements were being built.

For the first time the members of the military went from being soldiers to saviors and the Survey Corps went from being Titan fodder to champions. Now members of all branches were helping to get everyone's lives in order, helping to establish villages, moving debris, or wandering unhelpfully.

Slowly, within the first month there was evidence of Humankind going from sheep waiting to be slaughtered to the civilization that was told of only in oral stories. What many thought were only bedtime stories or foolish ideas.

Life progressed for everyone. Albeit some people lacked the storybook ending that everyone else was getting or even the ending they imagined.

Let us turn our gaze to the 104th training division; what remains of them at least.

As a refresher, the 104th had some of the most promising recruits sense the Colossal Titan's first appearance. They lost almost half of the top ten in the second appearance of the Colossal Titan, seven down. Then they learned that not one but five of their number were titans.

_Allow me to take a second and elaborate on what happened to the Titan Shifters. Annie remained crystalized after Ymir's demise. Bertholt also fell. Reiner was able to crystalize himself, similar to Annie after his defeat._

In the final battle many lives were lost. Countless faces and names that no human could memorize.

There were major losses though, that where recognized by the state.

Commander Erwin Smith, who died by the Dancing Titan's hand.

Levi Ackerman, who succumbed to his injuries during the spurt of the final battle, though many say that he didn't want to be part of a world where Humanities Strongest Solider wasn't need.

Sasha Braus, who also fell during the Dancing Titan. Though through her death it bought the soldiers valuable seconds, Sasha had died taking out one of Ymir's eyes.

Connie Springer, died at almost the same time as Sasha as he took out Ymir's other eye. They prevented Ymir from healing either of them by leaving their blades in her eyes, but that was ultimately sealed their deaths.

The final battle left many ruined, while it created opportunities for others. Titans' fall was a time to learn which category you would fall into.

_Now that you know what happened after the battle, I'll tell you that our story focuses on the remainder of the 104_ _th_ _. But our story doesn't truly begin until two weeks in the final battle. During that time Hanji who was next in line to become Survey Corps Commander passed the responsibility to Jean Kirschtein, making him the youngest Commander in history at the gentle age of twenty-eight. Armin became strategist during the war, but after he was appointed as a chief in rebuilding and settling, Mikasa was promoted to Captain of the Guard and was now in charge of protecting the citizens from the unknown._

_And Eren, I told you that he collapsed after Ymir fell correct? That is where I story begins and where the story's end is written, but as I said our story doesn't truly begin until two weeks after Titan's Fall started._

_Now, let's begin shall we?_


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The result of the fall of the titan's fall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N I would like to send a special thank you to my friends who've dealt with me while I was writing this because it was hell on them. So thanks Ally and Jake!
> 
> To Jake: I'm still really sorry for that whole lump incident regarding this story. But your feedback and input otherwise was invaluable.
> 
> To Ally: You were awesome about supporting me throughout the entire thing starting from the headcannon to the final product and I hope it live up to your expectations!
> 
> But what the actual fuck? I finished this jesus this was longer than I thought it would be. Honestly. I don't know what to even say. It probably is out of character. Also I wrote this two years ago and haven't been in the AOT fandom since so honestly I have no idea what's happened or who is dead, so don't give me flack for that. Otherwise enjoy! See you at the bottom!
> 
> DISCLAIMER I DO NO OWN AOT

* * *

_Our story restarts as one might expect, Eren's awaking after collapsing…_

* * *

Armin sighed as he exited the room. Eren still hadn't woken up, even though he was fully healed and there were no apparent injuries that was preventing him from being conscious. It was odd, while it was true that Eren kept whatever injures that he has sustained when he was cut out of his titan form, and occasionally it was the his other form's injuries that he kept, but this time his titan form had hardly been touched, even though it was Ymir that they were fighting everyone was putting everything on the line to disable the Dancing Titan, and defeat her before she had a chance to take out Eren. Which was probably what would've happened, had Connie and Sasha not bought them valuable time.

"So the angry shit still isn't awake?" A voice spoke, startling Armin.

"No, and if what Captain Hanji says is true then there's a less of a chance of him waking up each day." Armin said, his voice filled with exhaustion.

"How long have you been sitting with him?" Jean asked.

Armin shrugged. "A day at least."

"Get some sleep. I'll watch over the bastard." Jean's voice was quiet, it was starting to take on the hoarseness that came from overuse for a long time, in the Commander's case from yelling orders on the battlefield for years.

"You sure? I mean you probably have something important to do, I can go track down Mikasa." Armin shifted a little.

"It's fine."

Armin looked up at Jean, there was something in the Commander's eyes that said so much more than words ever could, and the strategist knew exactly what it meant.

They had been through so much together that it seemed almost stupid to hold onto teenage grudges.

"Alright. Tell me if anything happens."

"Will do." Jean nodded walking past Armin into the room.

Both of them knew that he wouldn't wake Armin up until the latter had at least eight hours of sleep even if it was Eren.

The blond male watched his commander walk into the room where his best friend lay oblivious to the world.

Armin shook his head violently, _Eren isn't that weak, he still wants to see the ocean, and we can do that now._

* * *

Jean looked around the room, a nervous habit of his developed from years as a soldier. The first thing he noticed was the mess of brown hair laying on what used to be a white pillow, moonlight streamed in through holes in the plaster, giving the room an unearthly glow.

Jean sat down heavily in the mothball covered chair. He wrinkled his nose in disgust. As a reward the king had given the Survey Corps _Le lieu de fantaisie_ , one of the nicer places in the inner wall… well it had been. The Corps HQ was in a lot better shape and a lot older. This building barely qualified as a building at this current moment.

It had been damaged in the fight between Annie and Eren all those years ago, and it hadn't ever been repaired. Since then it fell into a state of dilapidation; parts of the roof had fallen leaving the building exposed to the elements, then during the rebellion it hadn't escaped the fighting and had numerous holes in it from that time. In fact it had been considered a safety hazard and closed off, however, it hadn't been looted in the anarchy. At least they had moth eaten beds and a partial roof over their heads.

Jean huffed. "Still who does that? Congratulations one of your members basically saved humanity by himself, and all of the Survey Corps suffered tremendously by being the only ones to ever really fight the titans so have this shitty ass building as payment!"

The Commander crossed his arms fuming, staring out one of the head sized holes next to him, the sky still looked the same as it did when humans lived in terror of being eaten. The moon still shined as bright, though there was a distinct lack of terrorized screaming, it made the night seem lonely in a twisted sort of way.

Jean shifted his gaze once again to Eren who was laying on back, being swallowed by the blankets, even if they were threadbare. The titan-shifter had lost a lot of weight, since Titan's Fall, but it was probably due to not being able to ingest anything; Jean thought. He didn't know much about human anatomy.

Jean watched Eren for a few more minutes. At the end of it he decided two things. One, Eren was certainly better company when he was yelling angrily about his own justice. Two was Jean didn't really hate Eren as much as he made other people believe, after what the little shit had done the Commander had nothing but respect for him.

"Comment êtes-vous plus ennuyeux quand vous êtes endormi que lorsque vous êtes éveillé?" Jean muttered, not realizing that he was speaking in the tongue that his mother had taught him when he was a child.

* * *

Jean was woken up suddenly and painfully when his face met the floor of the hotel. He grimaced as he got a close up look at the dirt on the floor.  _No wonder why Corporal Levi was such a clean freak_. The Commander pushed himself up from the ground noticing that the chair that he had been sitting in broke.

"Ow. At least no one saw that." Jean mumbled to himself

"Smooth move, horse face." The voice was rough because of disuse.

Jean jumped up faster than he thought that he could in his later years. "Christ! You little shit, you nearly gave me a heart attack!"

"Did I? Because you were loud enough to wake the dead." Eren looked and Jean with an innocent face

Jean growled. "Well you were sleeping like the dead, so apparently it worked out!

"Wait, what do you mean?" Eren asked genuinely confused.

"Well you were out of commission for two weeks, what do you remember last?"

Eren blinked owlishly, Jean could only guess he was trying to recall the answer to his question. "I think it was the fight with Ymir, I remember I went to bite her out of the Dancing Titan's neck everything after that is kind of blurry and disjointed. "

Jean nodded, scratching his neck. "Yeah aft-"

Eren cut him off "Wait what happened? Did we win? What happened to the titans? Is everyone alright? I have to –"

Jean snapped and cut Eren off. "If you had let me finish I was going to tell you what happened."

The Commander waited a few seconds before he spoke again. "When you killed Ymir, she didn't crystalize, all of the other titans collapsed as well, including you in your titan form. Humanity won, and last I checked there are settlements as far out as a mile now."

"That's great!" Eren exclaimed a boyish grin spreading across his face.

Jean was silenced for a few seconds due to surprise, the only smiles he had seen Eren do were the ones that used when he described what it would feel like to kill all of the titans and free humanity. Those weren't the most pure or most sane smiles a person could do. But the reaction was within his expectations, though it was tamer than he thought it would go.

A shadow fell across Eren's face as fast as the smile had come, even after all these years Eren still couldn't handle staying in one emotion for more than a few seconds. "What about the casualties?"

"Er…"

"HOW MANY DID WE LOSE?"

The anger in the tone was enough to cause Jean to take a step back, he didn't want to incur the titan-shifter's wrath. He also didn't want to get Eren riled right after he had just woken up, but if the brat kept speaking to him that tone, Jean was going to hit him.

"Almost half of the Survey Corps." Jean answered solemnly.

"Who?" Eren had quieted down, whether it was because the seriousness of the conversation or because he didn't have the energy to continue with his anger, Jean didn't know.

The Commander to a second to organize his thoughts and mentally prepare himself for what he had to repeat. As Commander he had to memorize soldiers who contributed a great deal, even though in his opinion everyone who served contributed, but those who contributed enough to fall into that category were the ones that Eren was asking about. "We lost Commander Erwin, Corporal Levi, Sasha, and Connie."

It was such a small but powerful list, and the room fell silent after the sentence was finished. Jean figured that he would be able to leave.

"How?"

Jean sighed again, he didn't want to do this, but he also didn't want to dump this onto Armin and Mikasa who've already suffered enough. He also didn't want Eren to feel guilty, but he knew that the bastard would feel responsible; the brat still felt responsible about the Special Ops team incident. "Commander Erwin died while covering your transformation, Corporal Levi died shortly after Ymir died due to a substantial amount of injuries."

Jean shuddered, he remembered than particular death vividly.

"Sasha and Connie went down together, they were trying to buy the soldiers cutting at Ymir's hamstring and Achilles tendon time, they went for her eyes and in order to keep them from regenerating they remained and held their blades there, but since Ymir knew where they were she… ya know."

Eren went silent knowing full well what Jean meant. A tense silence filled the room, one that was tenser than the ones that usually followed one of their fights. Jean shifted awkwardly, looking back at the broken chair, wondering what he was going to do about that.

"Is that so?" Eren whispered. It sounded pathetic but Jean wasn't going to call him out on that.

"But the king did build a statue depicting them that stands for all of the soldiers lost in the war sacrificed and contributed." Jean rubbed the back of his neck.

"It think it would be better if they could be here to see it." Eren muttered.

Jean scowled, internally he was agreeing with Eren's statement but he couldn't allow that to show mainly for his pride and the other part was because of his position now, it was his idea(order) to have it built.

"At least they're recognized, and will stay that way for as long as the statue stands, can't you be happy about that?"

"Not when people died!" Eren shouted.

Somehow in the short time that Eren had been up; Jean completely lost his patience with the titan-shifter.

"Vous êtes ennuyeux indépendamment!" Jean yelled. "I'm going to get one of the people that can actually stand you!"

As Jean was stomping out of the room, he was certain that he heard Eren whisper "You still can't stand me? After all of this time?"

Jean continued out of the room and towards where he knew that Armin was sleeping, eight hours be damned he wasn't going to deal with Eren a second longer. The Commander strolled through the halls in a dignified manner, he couldn't stomp around anymore after fights with Eren he had to uphold some sort of respect, even though the Survey Corps was no longer needed for what their original purpose was they were still a military organization.

He reached Armin's door and pounded on it loudly, his irradiation making the abuse of the door even more satisfying.

"Jean what's wrong?" Armin asked from behind the door

"Your idiot of a best friend woke up and is annoying the hell out of me!" Jean complained.

Armin opened the door. "He woke up? That's great! I'll go tell Mikasa!

Jean watched as the blond man, who occasionally still acted like the boy that joined the Military Corps for no other reason that not wanting to be left behind, took off down the hallway at a quick walking pace.

_Appearance comes first, eh?_  Jean laughed to himself heading towards his office to attempt and get work done.

* * *

"Mikasa! Mikasa!" Armin yelled as he pounded on the door. "Open up!"

Seconds later, what many called the dark haired beauty, emerged from the room. "Armin what is it?"

Mikasa hadn't changed much. The only thing different was that cut her hair even shorter. She still wore the same scarf that Eren gave her all those years ago, and despite it being worn when fighting titans it was still in good condition.

"What is it Armin?" She asked.

"Eren's awake!" Armin exclaimed.

Mikasa's eyes widened. "Eren?"

She pushed past Armin and headed down the hall towards the room that Eren was placed in. Armin took a second to recover before he followed after his childhood friend. He'd be lying if he said that he wasn't surprised about Eren being unconscious for so long. The strategist had expected some backlash on Eren after watching what had happened the moment that he killed Ymir.

Armin arrived in the room shortly after Mikasa. The sight he saw was heartwarming. Mikasa had Eren wrapped up in a tight bear hug, and she was whispering something that Armin couldn't hear. Eren was hugging Mikasa back with just as much force, not saying anything. The green eyes met Armin's blue and the relief in his eyes was clear.

Mikasa released Eren after a few more seconds. Armin headed over and gave his friend a much shorter hug that Mikasa but it still held the same message.

The three spent all night talking about the war and what has happened since then.

Jean walked by the room at some point during their nearly night long conversation. He paused wondering if it would be alright for him to enter the room. He shook his head. Eren was alive, if he needed to talk to the brat he could do it when Mikasa and Armin were finished with him.

That's when he bumped into Hanji. The scientist looked excited.

"I heard Eren is wake, is that true?" The brunette blurted out as soon as she saw Jean.

"Yes, but how'd you hear?" Jean replied.

Hanji answered excitedly. "There was a lower ranked member who saw Mikasa running down the hallway in the direction that Eren was rumored to be kept in, and he was pretty sure that there was only two reasons why the Captain of the Guard would be running down that hallway."

"And here I thought security was tight on this whole situation." Jean mumbled. "Why do you want to see Eren so badly?"

Hanji made a face, like she was asking why Jean would say something like that. Jean only arched an eyebrow.

"I want to run some tests on him. I have a hypothesis, and I want to make sure that it doesn't come to pass, or if it does that we can handle it with some knowledge of what is happening."

Jean blew air out of his nose. "You know when you say things like that you make it sound bad. Eren is currently accompanied by Mikasa and Armin; so I'd wait until they won't be so clingy. Just so you can work in peace."

Hani pursed her lips, making her wrinkles more prominent. Surprisingly hers were only from age and not from stress caused by the war, for the most part. She was the only surviving senior corps member after all. "My hypothesis isn't nice, but I have encountered something when investigating the corpse of Bertholdt. I was just wondering if it was the same for Eren, and if it is what's going to happen to him?"

"What's this hypothesis?"

"The ability that comes to shift is like a part of them. When studying the Colossal Titan's human form I noticed that there were large areas of the internal organs that were turning black, like that place had died. There were places on the outside of the body that this was occurring as well. Actually the area wasn't black so much as it was protruding." Hanji explained.

Even though she had dumbed it down a lot, Jean still didn't understand what she was saying. His confusion showed on his face.

"The areas occurred quickly after he was killed in his titan form. It seems like an area of accelerated decay." Hanji elaborated.

Jean crossed his arms. "What does this have to do with Eren?"

"Well he is a shifter so I wondered if the same thing was possible for him. We don't even know if he has the ability to transform anymore." Replied Hanji. "That in itself could be bad."

"How so?"

"It's like you have a splinter in you for so long and you never pull it out so the skin grows around it, but when you finally do pull it out you're twice as likely to have an infection set it. Eren has had this ability for years, there's no telling what it has done to him internally. Even if we have seen his organs more than once…"

The Commander decided that it was best to leave it at that. "I'd still wait until the reunion is over with. Also do not tell Mikasa or Armin any of this. They've been worried enough as is. Right now the priority is getting humanity rebuilt and getting Eren strong enough that he can function on his own."

Hanji nodded. "You're the boss."

Jean sighed again. "Tell me your findings. If you think that it serious enough keep checking up on him weekly. Find excuses. If any of them ask why, say it was on my orders. I'll deal with them."

The glasses wearer nodded again, she didn't look very happy with Jean's orders. She knew better than to talk back to him. He always had a reason for his orders, and despite his young age he was still able to lead the Survey Corps well in the two weeks he'd been in command, and his squad even longer than that. He had been the captain with the highest success rate after Levi and he had the fewest casualties tied to his name, Mikasa would've been up there had she been more of a team player.

Jean continued walking down the hallway. He didn't like hearing what Hanji said, but he knew that he couldn't treat this as a halfassed theory either. Since it was created by the best Titan Scientist in the entire history of the corps, and she had proven to be brilliant if not slightly neurotic.

* * *

_Hanji did as Jean instructed, and it was written down as a routine check-up, as part of Eren's recovery. It wasn't until the third week of his waking that something was found, that is where we'll resume this tale._

* * *

"So Eren, is anything out of the ordinary?" Hanji asked as she pulled on her exam gloves.

The tanned-male thought about it for a second. "I've been getting tired a lot easier recently."

Hanji paused in her actions. "Tired how? When does this usually happen?"

"Whenever I'm walking around I guess." Eren replied, his brow was furrowed indicating that he was thinking.

"How long are you usually walking for before you notice this?"

"Not that long. Around the grounds is a long enough to tire me out."

Hanji turned towards the young man. "It's probably because you've been out of commission for so long you've lost a lot of stamina. Not to mention you're still in the recovery phase. I'll check it out though."

Hanji started with the basic examination, checking for fever, joint stiffness, and external malformations. With a frown she noticed that there was a hiss of pain when she was checking for stiffness. She jotted that down in her notebook. Then as she was checking for any external damage she came across a lump on Eren's chest. She pressed on it and in return she got a grunt of pain.

"Take off your shirt."

Eren did as he was told. Looking unhappy about it. Hanji paid the boy's face no mind her eyes drawn to the very apparent lump that was formed between the sixth and seventh ribs. There was no discoloration around the area, so it wasn't because he got hit there. Even so it would've had to have been a strong blow to cause this type of bump. After poking and prodding it she learned that it was only sore when it was pressed directly on.

"Have you noticed this before?" Hanji asked.

Eren shrugged. "I figured I just got bit by a bug or bumped it on something."

Hanji was dumbstruck, how could he think a lump that was sticking out so much that it was to the second joint of her finger was a bug bite or even an accidental blow to the side?

"I don't think it's either of those. I don't know what it is, but it doesn't look serious. So I would just keep an eye on it. Otherwise just take it easy and you'll be fine!" Hanji smiled.

Eren nodded and pulled his shirt back down. His hair was messed, sticking up at odd angles. He looked a lot younger than he actually was. Hanji couldn't resist smoothing down the long locks. "You haven't cut it recently."

He shrugged. "I've never been a fan of short hair, and now I really don't have a reason to keep it that short."

Hanji pulled her hand away satisfied with the smooth down. The hair wasn't tamed at all, but now it wasn't standing up.

Eren left the exam room. He fought back a wince as the small jump from the table to the floor pulled on his side. It was like a burning pain, it was still bearable and he has had a lot worse than a random bump that would go away soon.

He wasn't sure why, but he was really drained from the examination, so instead of heading out to the courtyard where he was usually seen these days he headed into the room that he had been assigned. Which was actually the same room that he had woken up in. He liked it because there wasn't anyone that could bother him with questions about the war and what it was like to be a titan.

Eren sighed, he hated those questions. They were all about him and not about the people that he knew that died during the war. He had heard someone say once that those who die won't be remembered, other than they'll be counted on the casualty list. At the time Eren huffed and continued on what he was doing but now he could see the truth in the statement. As much as he thought those who die should be remembered more than those who lived. There's always the cowards that hide during battle that are remembered when those who die fighting are not. It's not fair. It never has been.

Eren made it to his room and collapsed onto the bed and fell straight asleep.

* * *

Hanji headed into Jean's office later in the day. She spent as much of the day as she could researching anything she could on the symptoms Eren had told her and that she had noticed, nothing was even close to what Eren was currently experiencing.

She knocked on the commander's door. Wondering if he was busy at the moment.

"Enter."

Hanji opened the door. Jean was sitting at his desk reading over a paper, the tip of this quill rubbing against his chin. He looked up to see who had entered his office.

"Ah, Hanji. To what do I owe this visit?"

Hanji stepped into the office, actually it was a master suite turned office, and shut the door behind her. She took her time walking over to the chair that was across from Jean.

The Commander arched an eyebrow at the obvious delay. He was getting the feeling that he wasn't going to appreciate what Hanji was going to tell him.

"Well as you know, Eren's weekly appointment was today." Hanji began slowly.

Jean sighed. He knew that he wasn't going to like this, he had a feeling that something was up with Eren when the other didn't even looked annoyed at the fact that he was hanging around Mikasa. "What happened to him?"

"It's not what happened, its what's happening."

"Which is what?"

"I don't know. I told you what happened to Bertolt corpse. I have a feeling that Eren is going to go through the same thing, only he's alive."

Jean pursed his lips, all of this medical jargon was over his head. "What makes you say this?"

"Well today when I was checking for joint stiffness I noticed that he was a lot stiffer than he was last week, it could be due to the fact that he just slept awkwardly last night; but I'm not writing it off as something minor."

"What else?" Jean liked that about Hanji, she always made sure that she kept all of the details of whatever she was working on.

"Eren claimed about being tired a lot more frequently, again it could be because he's just coming out of a two week sleep." Hanji explained.

"There's still something more isn't there?"

Hanji looked away for a second. "Yes…"

"Well what was it?" Jean blew air out his mouth, signaling that he wasn't in the mood to wait around.

"He had a lump on him. It didn't seem to cause him any pain, until I pressed directly on it. It was situated between a couple of his ribs. It was only a lump though, honestly it has me baffled."

"You're saying that you don't know what it is but you feel like it could be important in the long run. Correct?" Jean surmised.

Hanji nodded.

"You haven't told Eren that you suspect that something is wrong with him?"

Hanji nodded again.

"Why?" Jean arched an eyebrow.

"He may stress about it, and that may cause more damage than he needs. Also, if he's worried or distracted by something how long do you think it'll take Mikasa to notice? I still don't understand why you aren't letting them know. Isn't this something they should prepare for?"

Jean stood up and looked out of the window. "We've just won Humanities Greatest Battle. There have been so many lives loss, now is the time to rejoice. If this turns out to be nothing, then so be it. However… if it is something then I think it would be better if they had normalcy for as long as possible. If Eren's life was in danger there would be no way that he could do what he wants to without reservations."

Hanji shrugged. The reasoning was lost on her, she just assumed that it was unit thing, those four had known each other since their trainee days after all. The brunette allowed herself a small frown as she thought about what it would've been like if any of her fellow recruits would've made it, that she knew personally at least.

"Does that mean I still report everything to you then?"

Jean nodded. "Yes. I leave Eren's life in your hands."

The glasses wearer stood up from where she was sitting. "You know… this could kill him… whatever this is. I don't know how and I don't know when. He could just drop dead one day. So if you have anything that you want to say to him. I would say it now, because tomorrow may be too late."

Jean turned towards her. "What makes you say that?"

"Weren't you the one always making amends before a battle? You don't want to die with regrets." Hanji grinned lightly.

The Commander looked away. "I'll consider it."

Hanji shrugged and walked out of the office. Her mind going twenty different ways with twenty different scenarios.

* * *

_And so Hanji worked at an easy pace attempting to figure out what was wrong with Eren, while coming up with excuses as to why she needed to keep the appointments continuing on well after the time that she should've stopped, it was nearly six months after Eren woke up after all. Jean made his contact with Eren and the others scare, though they chalked it up to it being the fact that he was now the commander. Eren meanwhile continued to not regain any of his former ardor and tired out easily. He felt sluggish whenever he tried to move and more of those strange lumps started to appear, though they weren't as large as the original; which incidentally did start to look less like a lump and something more hazardous._

* * *

"Hello Eren!" Hanji chirped the moment that Eren opened the door.

"Morning." Eren replied groggily.

"Just get up?" Hanji inquired as she searched for the tools that she was going to need.

"No, I'm just tired."

"Didn't sleep well?"

"Not particularly."

Hanji pulled her lips into a tight line, Eren had started to become dishonest with her. She knew that he was trying to downplay what was wrong. He was still playing the hero.

She dropped the conversation there. Instead focusing on Eren's body. His joints moved with a stiffness that was a like an old man's. Though his knees were the worst off. Hanji moved onto the poking and prodding session, noting if there were any areas that were more tender than the others or didn't feel as it should. The lump was still there, and she thought that she felt more developing.

"Eren shirt off please."

The male blinked as if he wasn't expecting the request. "It's still cold out, I could catch a chill."

Hanji motioned to the fireplace which was still lit, it wasn't a large fire but it would drive off any chill.

Eren sighed with reluctance. Pulling his shirt above his head. As Hanji figured there were several more bumps protruding from different locations around Eren's chest. The original one, she noticed with distress, was starting to turn the purple color that was associated with broken bones.

She barely even touched it and Eren hissed in pain. Hanji noted that reaction down. So it wasn't improving but getting worse.

Eren cleared his throat startling Hanji out of his thoughts. "Have you told anyone about… you know… whatever's happening?"

The researcher looked away. "Only one other person, I'm under orders to keep it confidential."

"Who'd you tell?" Eren yelled.

"That's confidential." Hanji placed her hands in the air.

Eren scowled and stormed out of the office turned exam room. He quickly came back in for his shirt however. Hanji remained there standing, not sure what to do because she wasn't finished with the exam yet.

* * *

The titan shifter stormed down the hallway, pulling his shirt on as he went. He was pissed. What gave Hanji the right to disclose his personal medical information with someone? Who was that someone who was able to keep even the blabber mouth Hanji from spilling out her findings? She had always spoken about her latest discoveries even when it was one of those things that shouldn't be blurted.

Eren turned down the hallway that held his room. He spent more time in his room than he would like to admit, he figured some of the lower ranked soldiers would be talking about how he wasn't right in the head after the war. Many already figured he was mad during the war.

Pursing his lips his mind wandered back to Hanji would've told. It wasn't Mikasa or Armin, otherwise those two would be on him faster than he could say "Wall Sina". It wouldn't have been anyone lower rank either, because that would just be too strange even for the scientist. So it had to be someone of a higher rank, but who had a higher rank that Hanji. One name sprang to mind but he doubted that Commander Kirschstein would care that much to be kept up to date on what was happening to him.

Opening the door Eren was once again surrounded by the familiar faded walls of his room. He kind of wished that there was a way to clean them up, make it feel more like a home instead of a broken down building that was converted into a military base. He wasn't a soldier anymore, or at least in the sense that soldiers had been associated with for the past hundred years. They were more for small things now, like crime and protecting the new civilizations out of the wall and not for slaying Titans.

Eren looked out of the window that was in his room, yes it was dirty and cracked, it would've given Captain Levi a fit to see the Survey Corps in a place like this and not do anything about it. He smiled at the thought. If I had more energy, I'd clean this place up.

He turned towards his bed, it wasn't that comfortable, but due to his recent increase need of sleep he didn't care. It was a little on the uneven side, there were some places it sagged and other places where the mattress filling had moved to create a sort of bubble. He yanked his shirt off and flung it to some odd corner of the room. Eren looked down at his chest, seeing the collection of odd lumps sticking out of his flesh, he glanced at the first one he got and winced at its appearance. It just looked ugly is all, whatever was causing this would just go away eventually, probably some side effect from titan blood or something.

Nothing to worry about. Nothing at all.

Eren climbed into his bed, and pulled the covers up. Sleep came easily that night, as easy as it had been the previous nights.

* * *

Jean tapped his quill on his chin. He looked at the document that he was supposed to be reading. Setting the quill down he pushed himself out of the chair, his back popping as he did so. He walked stiffly over to the window. It was early evening, the orange of the sky was starting to encroach on the blue of the sky. Birds flew in the air and people below were heading home before night fell. The Commander took little notice of these things as he was lost in thought. What Hanji had said to him, about telling Eren about how he didn't hate him, was still clattering around in his head.

It was actually rather annoying. He didn't want to tell Eren because if this wasn't fatal, then it would just come back to bite him in the ass. There was no way Eren wouldn't hold this over his head. On the other hand, if Eren did die, could Jean live with the fact that Eren thought that he still hated him?

It should've been apparent after years of fighting alongside each other than known of the animosity that they created when they were teens was no longer even a factor. They had grown out of it, or so he thought. Then again, Eren was always a stubborn one.

Jean sighed. He had hoped that Eren had figured out that they were partners a long time ago. They worked together more times than not. Mikasa was always paired off with Levi, the two strongest soldiers killed two dozen titans when they were paired up. Armin, later in the war, was always kept back with Commander Erwin, he was too valuable of a strategist. So that left Jean with Eren, and after working together on a few missions Jean learned to deal with the Titan Eren and Eren learned how to work with Jean before he went titan. They weren't efficient, but they kept each other from dying several times so that's what mattered, and that's with Jean also leading a squad at the same time.

"Vous causez beaucoup de problèmes, Eren Jaeger." Jean mumbled.

There was a knock on his door. He turned towards it. "Enter."

The door opened to reveal a pensive Hanji. Jean attempted to removed any trace of his previous lines of thought from his face. He needed to look like a leader to his subordinates after all; even when it was just Hanji.

"Good evening." He greeted slowly moving over to his desk as the brunette walked further into his office, he was getting a bad feeling about this.

Hanji moved slowly into the office, she took steps as if she was walking through one of the still remaining explosive fields that they had used to slow the titans early on in their assault. She had a look on her face as if she was deep in thought. Jean stood by his desk waiting patiently while thought through whatever she was thinking.

Hanji eventually made it to the desk after a little delay. Jean avoided sighing. "So what was it that happened this time?"

"Well I just concluded my examination of Eren."

"And?" Then as an afterthought Jean said "Sit down."

Hanji did so, crossing her legs and tapping her fingers against her thigh not unlike how Jean was earlier. Jean sat down after her, peering at the scientist from across the desk. He had his hands folded together while he waited for her to begin. He tried not to pressure her into talking until she was ready.

Eventually Jean heard her inhale and he figured that she was about to start her explanation. After another minute of silence Hanji finally started.

"He isn't getting any better."

Jean immediately asked. "Is he getting any worse?"

"Well if by worse you mean more of those lumps are forming then yes. Also that original one I told you about is turning colors." Hanji rubbed the back of her head.

"So you still don't know what's causing it?"

"No. I still have a feeling it's affecting his sleeping more than he's letting on and his knees and elbows are stiff to move around."

Jean gritted his teeth. "What do you think?"

"About what?"

"About his chances of survival. Will this kill him?" Jean sighed, he really needed to stop sighing so much.

"I don't know." Hanji said after pausing. "It could kill him or it won't. There's no way to tell at this moment in time."

Jean nodded. Not sure what else to say, he'd have to call it as he saw it, speculating on someone's life is a sure failure. "Is that all?"

"For the moment."

"You are dismissed." Jean grunted before returning his gaze to the window.

Hanji stood up, did a quick salute and left the office. Jean listed to the footsteps fade out of the room and the door shut, he scowled. What the hell was wrong with Eren? Why was Hanji unable to fix it? He knew that he was going to have hell to pay when Mikasa found out that he was keeping her from knowledge involving Eren, and he was sure he was going to get the Armin frown of disapproval.

* * *

_By the time seven months after Titan's Fall occurred it was begging to become more and more obvious that all was not well with Eren. Jean was still reclusive though he did come down for meals now. Hanji was still creative in excuses for Eren's continuous visits to her. Eren barely came out of his room but to eat. Which is where the next segment of our story starts. At the point where Mikasa and Armin start their own investigation after begin suspicious for quite a while, which started a few days after Eren's most recent visit to Hanji._

* * *

Mikasa was returning to headquarters after training for the midday break. She wiped at the sweat gathered at her brow. Glancing around the courtyard she noted with slight annoyance and a tinge of worry that once again that familiar mess of brown hair was absent despite the good weather.

She held out inquiring about it for as long as she could. Mikasa figured that Eren was just adjusting to life without the threat of titans and the fact that a lot of the people he knew were dead. There wasn't anything that she could do for him and Armin told her than there was a chance that giving Eren some space would do him some good in coming to terms with himself and what had happened

How long should she wait? She wondered to herself. Mikasa was starting to worry and grow more anxious with each day. Recently the only time that she saw Eren was at meal times, and even then his appearance there was scarce.

How long was enough time to come to terms with it? Mikasa was starting to worry more and grow anxious with each time that the only part of the day she saw Eren was at meal times and even his appearance there was scarce.

It wouldn't be odd for her and Armin to stop into Eren's room for a visit would it? Besides she wasn't doing anything for the rest of the day and most likely Armin's been working non-stop for the past few days cataloging everything he could from outside the walls, finding the best places to settle and apparently discovering new flora that was helpful to humanity. Mikasa allowed herself to smile; the smallest of the three was getting to live out his dream of exploring the outside world.

Her mind made up she mounted her horse and set off to the last place that she knew Armin to be. If all goes well, they'd be back in time for dinner and they could all have a meal in Eren's room before they had to return to their own quarters.

Thankfully Armin set up his camp on a road that wasn't frequented with settler traffic. Mikasa was able to ride at her preferred pace and made good time getting to the site.

Armin's camp wasn't very large. Its population consisted of fifteen intelligent and curious, explorers. It was hardly ever inhabited by all fifteen most went out on potentially week long scouting missions for new finds. In the actual month they've been established they already found some kind of plant that was better for the healing salve. A few of the explorers, sitting near the edge of the site eating what was presumably their lunch, looked up at her arrival. Then after a second of awe, the stood up and saluted her.

Mikasa waved them off so they could all go back to their lunch. She still wasn't used everyone treating her like a living legend; despite the fact that she actually was being one of the very few soldiers that fought against all Titan-Shifters alive. Not to mention the prestige was added because of her rank and relationships with the only living Titan-Shifter, Commander of the Survey Corps, and the Chief of Rebuilding and Settling She shook her head, looking for Armin's tent, hoping that he was actually in the camp and not out searching for the next village site.

She pushed open the flap and was pleasantly surprised to find Armin asleep with books and papers scattered all around the tent floor. Mikasa was about to leave when Armin opened one of his eyes.

"Mikasa?" He asked upon noticing her figure.

"Its me." She replied.

"What are you doing here?" Armin arched an eyebrow.

Mikasa remained silent for a second. "Asking if you want to have dinner with Eren."

"He invited us?"

"No."

Armin looked surprised for a second but then his expression quickly faded into a face of concentration. "Why now?"

Mikasa shrugged. "He's had enough time to grieve without anyone trying to talk to him."

"If we leave now we can make it back before dinner finishes and before Eren, goes back to his room." Armin commented.

"That was my thinking, but is it alright for you to leave so suddenly?"

"I was meaning to come to the main barracks today anyway, I have to give Jean- I mean Commander Kirschstein my reports on suitable location on where to have people settle." Armin stood up.

Mikasa said nothing for a few seconds, then she exhaled softly.

Armin looked towards her. "What is it?"

"Just… It's nothing."

The other frowned. Mikasa waited to see if Armin was going to inquire any further. When he didn't Mikasa straightened herself.

"I'll be waiting for you at the edge of the camp."

Armin nodded before he looked at the papers on the floor. Mikasa figured that the reports were somewhere in that mess and she decided that she would go wait for Armin like she said. The walk back was decidedly a lot less awkward for her as most of the soldiers already knew that she was, though they still stood to attention as she walked by.

She stood by her horse, stroking its nose as she lost herself in her thoughts. Eren should've been out here with Armin exploring like he always wanted, instead of grieving in a rundown building.

Armin approached her from behind, clearing his throat as he got closer, his horse whined at the sight of Mikasa's.

"Ready?" She said as she mounted her horse.

"Yeah, let's go.

* * *

Eren awoke from his nap to see that the sky light was dimming down causing the shadows to be more prominent around his room. He sat up and stretched wincing as his elbows protested by popping. He made his way to stand, and as he got about halfway up he was overcome by a heavy sense of fatigue. His knees trembled and he fell back onto the mattress.

_This thing is probably why I'm so stiff._  It's completely been eaten by moths. Eren thought as he shifted trying to avoid the major lumps on the mattress to get comfortable again, since it didn't seem like he was going to be able to make it to dinner. He was sprawled across the bed looking at the door, wondering why a short distance was so far away.

His stomach twisted and he felt like he was going to be sick and he knew that he didn't have the ability to get out of bed much less outside to where he could vomit without anyone finding out. So instead he coughed trying to alleviate some of the tension in his gut. It helped slightly, but the feeling still remained.

Eren scrunched up his nose and shifted more so that he could maybe get his stomach to be not as tight. It wasn't working at all, his stomach still felt like it was full and there was really no way to get comfortable on this bed. He shifted and wiggled around until a wave of dizziness hit him and he just decided to stop moving and stare at the ceiling.

It was doing enough moving for him.

His joints throbbed, his stomach was churning, and his chest was hurting. Well not his chest but those lumps, whatever they may be, were hurting. He should probably tell Hanji, next time he saw her.  _Wonder what she would do… probably a lot of weird tests, they'd probably be painful._

There was a knock on the door and Eren furrowed his brows trying to figure out who would be visiting him at that time. Without waiting for a reply the door opened, revealing Mikasa who was balancing a bowl of food in one arm while the other was holding the door knob.

Eren turned slightly to make his sister not upside down, and so that he could figure out why she was here now. He looked behind her to see Armin standing with two bowls of food. He furrowed his brow, Armin didn't eat that much.

A few seconds after they entered and took over what measly furniture was in the room. Armin moved to hand the bowl over to Eren. The brunette finally caught up to what was happening, they were meaning to have dinner with him. He also couldn't get out of this one. Slowly Eren sat up trying to hide the discomfort of moving.

Unfortunately Mikasa picked up on the fact that he was moving slower than normal. "Eren, do you feel alright?"

"Huh?" Eren looked up quickly. "Yeah, this bed is just uncomfortable. It makes me stiff, it's an old mattress."

Armin handed the bowl to Eren, who took it ruefully. Mikasa watched Eren similar to how a hawk watches its prey.

"For being uncomfortable, you sure spend a lot of time in it." She says finally.

"Well… er…" Eren mumbles. "Hanji's orders, after all she's been doing a lot of titan testing on me."

That was buyable right? Hanji was seeing him a lot and he was the only titan left. He wasn't sure what was going on with him, but having Mikasa learn about it would just cause her to hover around him when she was supposed to be doing her duty as a high ranking official.

Mikasa arched an eyebrow and Eren knew that she doubted him. Armin sat quietly in the chair that was meant to go with the desk which was a pile of wood in the corner, he appeared to be observing.

Eren looked towards the contents in his bowl, it was some sort of gruel with a hunk of bread slowly sinking to the bottom of the bowl, and he felt his stomach churn at the sight. Food was really not appealing at the moment.

He was going to have to eat it if he was going to escape the company of Armin and Mikasa, really why were both them teaming up on him? Eren picked up the spoon and mushed the food around, causing his stomach to churn more.

Spooning some into his mouth he found that it was the same consistency as it looked. Needless to say his stomach protested vehemently at the feeling. He forced himself to swallow and hopefully his sibling and best friend wouldn't notice. His stomach twisted and tightened letting him know that it wasn't going to take much more food. He sighed knowing that there was going to be a choice that he would have to make. Which was the lesser of two evils? Letting them think that he was was just coming down with a cold it wouldn't be so bad. But would they believe him if he said that? In retrospect it was was Hanji's fault. If she hadn't insisted on seeing him every week he could probably get away with it.

"Eren, why aren't you eating?" It was Armin naturally.

"Not really hungry. Probably have the flu or something as equally mundane." Eren responded easily.

Armin frowned. "The flu?"

"Yeah."

"Then there's more of a reason for you to eat." Mikasa stepped back into the conversation.

"What makes you say that?" Eren asked poking at the bread with his spoon. It was hard.

He pulled another face. Honestly one would think that the rations would get better now that they had access to more plants and such. Maybe actually a tasty meal instead of disgusting gruel. Like the meals they used to have back at the old Survey Corps HQ.

Mikasa took a bite, and it was probably because she was normally stone-faced that she could eat it without making a face of distaste. "Auntie always said that you need to keep up you strength if you're sick. So you should actually eat more."

"If I can't stomach it. There's no point. Besides who said that eating more would help?"

Armin once again found his voice and entered the conversation. "Your father actually."

Eren and Mikasa both looked down and the mention of their father, he still hadn't shown up. So they assumed that he had been killed in the war, if not killed then died from some other cause.

The brunette sighed silently. He knew that there was no way to get out of this peacefully so he shoved another spoonful of grossness into his mouth. This time however it didn't stay down like he would've preferred it to. His stomach twisted and he found himself doubled over the end of the bed heaving out what little stomach contents he had.

Strangely enough there was a slight copper taste to the vomit.

When he was done he slumped down, and his head was barely on the bed. He felt humiliated that the two people he was closest to had to see that.

Mikasa, the moment that she saw Eren start to vomit rushed over to his side and started to rub circles on Eren's back. Armin, the more sensible of the group headed towards the bowl of water and wet a rag so that Eren's face could be cleaned up.

Armin headed back to where Mikasa and Eren were. Eren's breath was labored and it looked like he was sweating quite a lot from the liquid saturating his shirt. Mikasa helped to maneuver Eren so that Armin could reach his face.

The strategist' eyes widened as he saw that there was a slight reddish tinge to the vomit on Eren's shirt. Out of concern, Armin looked to the floor and saw that there was actually a substantial amount of blood.

Mikasa looked over as well when she saw the horrified face Armin was making.

Even she gasped when she saw what was on the floor.

"Armin, go get Hanji." Mikasa ordered.

* * *

Hanji didn't expect anyone to bother her this evening. She was looking forward to a night where she could read reports and eat her dinner in peace. Maybe looking even further into whatever was ailing Eren. So to say that she was surprised when a disgruntled Armin Arlert threw open her door was an understatement.

"Are you alright?" Hanji asked after she had recovered from her shock.

"I'm fine, but Eren isn't." He replied breathlessly.

Hanji stood up in one quick motion that belied her age. "What do you mean, something is wrong with Eren?"

Armin took a second to calm himself. "So we were eating dinner in his room, it was Mikasa's idea, and Eren wasn't eating his portion and when we asked him why he said it was because he wasn't feeling well. He said he had the flu or something like that. It was weird because Mikasa was sure that something was wrong with him a few minutes into the dinner."

Armin was rambling and it was enough to let Hanji know that the strategist was being completely serious about the severity and he was wasn't just acting out in protectiveness. Not that the blonde boy was ever overprotective, and from Hanji's point of view he was the only always being protected.

"So he's still in his room?"

Armin nodded.

"Alright. Let me grab my kit and meet you down there." Armin once again saluted briefly. Then he took off back down the hallway. Hanji reached for the med pack that she had come up with for on the fly treatments. She had created it on a whim and it had actually proved to so useful it became part of the medical units standard kit.

Hanji's mind was whirling. Wondering what exactly happened to Eren. Why did Armin look so worried and what tipped Mikasa off to there something being wrong with Eren.  _I'll also have to tell Commander Kirschstein. He won't be happy at the rate this… illness is progressing._

Not that Mikasa was going to be either when Hanji gave the explanation as to what's going on. Not that there was much of one. But it would be easier to work with Eren now that they didn't have to be secretive about it any longer. As she had thought Armin was waiting outside of the room. He tapped his foot, a nervous tick he had developed during his years in service. Hanji smiled. At least some of the kid hadn't been ruined by this war.

Her smile dropped quickly however when she thought about how this war may not be as over as anyone thought. Something was up with Eren, and it may be the last of the war casualties.

Hanji walked in first and saw that Mikasa was holding Eren against her while the other looked barely conscious.

"What's wrong with him?" Mikasa asked the moment her eyes landed on the older soldier.

"I don't know I just got here myself." Hanji replied attempting to keep her voice neutral as to not give anything away.

Hanji moved over to the prone boy. Trying to take in as much as she could before she got to the bed. From a distance she could tell that Eren was shivering and covered in what she presumed to be vomit and sweat.

"How many times did he vomit?" Hanji asked as she down knelt next to the bed.

"Once while we were here." Armin replied. "But there was blood in it. Like he had internal damage or something. "

Hanji's face remained impassive but her mind flickered back to the autopsy she did on the Colossal Titan and how it seemed like all of his organs were decaying much faster than the rest of him.

_Decay can't happen to a living person? Can it?_  She asked herself.

She opened one of Eren's partially opened eyes, there was barely a response, almost like he was slipping into unconsciousness.

The lack of reaction was what was bothering her. She inhaled. "Mikasa, can you move him so that he's stretched out on his back?"

Miksa looked reluctant before she did as she was instructed. Then she moved to go stand by Armin, the latter looking fascinated with what was going with his childhood friend, but it was a morbid curiosity. Once Hanji had suitable space to work with she pressed on Eren's stomach, pleased to find that it was not the squishy swollen that came with someone who had internal bleeding. She then ran her hand us up his side, feeling the bumps there that seemed more prominent. Eren had lost a lot of weight in these past few months.

"Was he not eating properly?" Hanji wondered. She wasn't sure what to think. She had noticed a steady decline in Eren's weight but she had told the chef and Eren that it was important for him to eat more so that he can regain his energy and be able to be as he was before he went unconscious after Ymir's demise. Just not as driven due to the titan threat being exterminated.

She frowned even more. She knew that Eren was getting his food every day, but whether or not he was actually eating it was another matter altogether. She moved his arms and legs finding that they were stiffer than before, which was off considering that it was only a few days since she had examined him last, they weren't this stiff then. Was it because of the strain that was happening to his body at this very moment? Either way the situation want looking very bleak for the titan-shifter if they couldn't figure out what was going on with him. Ha

Hanji just hopped that none of her hypothesis came to pass. She wasn't sure that it was even a possible thing. She sighed again.

"Let's get him to the medical area, to the private room."

"Corporal Hanji?" Armin spoke up suddenly.

"Yes?"

"So you have any idea what's wrong with Eren?"

"Ah, I have a few ideas but you'll have to get Commander Kirschstein to the give the okay for me to tell you."

Mikasa looked irritated. "I'll go get that now."

* * *

Mikasa knew that Jean would be in his office eating his dinner and going over the daily reports. There was something to be said about the usefulness of having a routine. Today Mikasa was mad would've been a mostly false statement. There was a hint of anger but mostly she was disappointed and confused as to why Jean had decided to keep it a secret from her and Armin. It's not like they would do anything with that information.

Without knocking Mikasa pushed open the door to Jean's office. She could tell right away that the Commander wasn't pleased with the interruption. He was about to snap when he saw who it was.

"Mikasa?" He asked in bewilderment.

"Yes. Do you have a few minutes?" They both know that she would pursue her line of inquiry even if Jean was busy.

"Well, I'm just working on reports. What's up?" Jean set the paper down on his desk.

Mikasa moved so that she was standing in front of the desk.

"Eren's sick." She began. "Though I assume you already knew this?"

There was a moment where Jean let his eyes widened, it was enough to let Mikasa knew that Jean wasn't letting her find out about the illness until something about it had been done. "What happened?

"Eren got sick." Mikasa responded curtly.

"Did you get Hanji?"

"Armin did, he's being taken to the nurses' station now. But Hanji isn't going to tell us what's the matter with Eren until you gave you permission. Which I'm now here to get and ask why you had this kept a secret."

In a moment of letting his rank drop, Jean pinched the bridge of his nose. "I didn't want this to somehow leak to the lower ranks. It could be used against us, somehow. "

Mikasa knew that Jean wasn't made Commander on favor he actually did have a good head on his shoulders, but sometimes it was too much. "So why didn't you tell us still, we aren't going to tell anyway."

"I didn't want to let you know because we're still not sure what's wrong with Eren, so

"We didn't tell you what was wrong because we knew that it could cause a bigger deal than it actually was. We still don't know what's wrong with him entirely. "

"How can you still not know?"

"We've never see this before. Medically speaking." Jean replied calmly.

"Still this is something that you should've told us to begin with, and not when it was too late or us finding out like this, on accident."

Jean tried not to wince. He heard the stress that Mikasa had put on that word, and it reaffirmed his belief that that Captain had spent too much time with Levi before he died. Mikasa was scary when she was made, and if Jean wasn't careful he would be on the receiving end of that anger shortly.

"I didn't like doing it. But if news had gotten out it would've been bad. Especially since the government have already decided to let Eren live after the war. It may look suspicious."

"And you don't think it isn't, there have been spies in the corps before?" They both refused to acknowledge that the spies happened to be close friends of theirs.

"There has been yes, but no I don't think that this is suspicious. Corporal Hanji thought that something like might happen based on her findings in Bertholdt corpse."

Mikasa furrowed her brows "Wait, what happened to his corpse?"

"Accelerated rotting or something, I didn't understand it fully myself."

Mikasa sighed. "Doesn't Eren mean anything to you?"

"I don't see how this is relevant at all."

"Its not, I'm just confused Commander. You spent so many years fight him and protecting him that it seems like your reaction to this illness is a bit uncaring."

"Regardless there's very little I can do about it, other than keep it contained. But I must remind you that Eren was  _never_  under orders to keep silent about his condition."

Mikasa was inwardly shocked about what has been revealed to her. Eren wasn't under orders, it was only Hanji? She kept her face impassive. "Sir, do I have your permission to get the full report?"

Jean flinched slightly at the tone. _She definitely hung out with Corporal Levi too much._  "Yes, you have my permission."

He quickly jotted down a note saying as much and stamped it with the corps seal. "Take this.

Mikasa took note an nodded before she turned and left without so much of a goodbye.

Jean watched the dark haired beauty leave before settling himself at his desk. He wasn't sure why he was being targeted for his current animosity towards Eren. The bastard probably didn't want to have anything to do with him. Though it would be nice to have a civil discussion to clear the air about everything when Eren got better. Though if Hanji was right in her guess, the chances of that happening were extremely slim and getting Eren alone for a private talk would be impossible with the combined Armin and Mikasa fretting; hell it was going to be hard for Hanji to do her job and receive any semblance of privacy

Maybe it wasn't the right thing to hide this from the other two, but it wasn't like it was something that he could treat as casual. He hadn't even informed the uppers of this, in case they decide to do something drastic, which is highly possible because they have done it before. Jean figured that he'd get his answer depended on how it all played out when they were at the end of this road.

* * *

Mikasa headed towards the nurses station, her gait was brisk and with purpose and the few soldiers that did meet her on the way quickly dived out of her way in fear of getting on the targeted end of the silent anger.

_Why did that moron keep this quiet? Why didn't Eren tell me he was sick earlier? Why didn't I notice anything?_  Internally Mikasa was freaking out and because she wasn't sure how to really handle her worry other than to convey it into anger that's why she found herself throwing open the door and scaring Armin half to death.

"Mikasa?" Armin gasped out.

"Sorry."

"So did you get the Commander's permission?" Hanji's voice came from behind them.

Mikasa handed her the piece of parchment which was wrinkled because she had been clenching it so tightly.

The scientist sighed. "Well, I don't know much. What I do know is that this illness is in fact manifesting itself as a physical illness, which is a benefit to us it'd be harder if it was mental. How its manifesting itself is through a series of discolored bumps on his chest, they hurt to touch but otherwise don't affect anything, he's also got stiff joints and exhaustion."

"That's it?" Mikasa exclaimed the list seemed too small for such a serious looking problem.

"Well I can put the blood vomiting as a symptom provided that he does it again or tells me it's happened prior."

The feeling of hurt didn't lessen in Mikasa upon hearing that she wasn't the only one that Eren didn't tell. It was to be expected it was Eren's personality to shoulder everything, but there was still the fact that him and Mikasa were the closest out of those still alive in the 104th. Eren's stubbornness wasn't sitting well with Mikasa at all, she knew that he was stubborn at the worst of times but there had to be a point when Eren realized how ridiculous it was.

"So what do you think is causing it?" Armin asked.

"I'm not sure. The only time that I saw something that could be close to this was in fact the Colossal Titan's human form. It was at that time an accelerated decay."

"Can you decay when you're alive?" Armin had an interest in this despite the morbid nature of the topic.

"Well technically no you can't going by the definition, but then again just because it hasn't happened doesn't mean it isn't possible. Just think of our ancestors and how they never once thought that the Titan's were possible or humanity facing its extinction.

"That's not reassuring."

"Sometimes, well most of the time, the unknown isn't reassuring."

Mikasa looked down at her brother, he was asleep but it didn't look restful with the labored breathing and the sweat that was tracking its way down his face.

"A fever"? Mikasa spoke suddenly.

"Yeah, it started shortly after he arrived, it seems like it will go down on its own, but I'd like a rag and bowl to place on his head, but there are no nurses around and I probably couldn't tell them why per the Commander's orders and I can't leave because something could happen to Eren that I would need to handle." Hanji replied stepping closer to the bed.

"I'll get it." Armin said before he took his leave in search of the requested items. Mikasa looked over that the researcher.

"What do you think?" The Captain asked.

"What do I think?" Hanji repeated.

"About Eren's sickness. What are your true thoughts?"

"My true thoughts, huh. I think it's caused by something to do with the titan's. I don't' know how but that's the only logical thing that I can come up with, well I would be more correct to assume that it was because of the titan-shifter part of him, as no other titans in my or humanities knowledge got sick and the only other thing that this could've been, was on a titan-shifter's corpse."

"What about Ymir's corpse?"

"What about Ymir?" Hanji again was confused.

"Did this same thing happen to her? Or was it only Bertholdt?"

"Ymir's corpse was taken out of the Survey Corps possession, so I cannot say for certain. The Military Police was awarded it, and I can almost completely guarantee that they burned it the moment that they were given the go ahead to do with the corpse whatever they pleased.

"But Reiner and Annie crystallized."

"Yes but that was because of the type of titan they were. They had that armor, or that's my guess, its rather hard when there so little on their titan forms and they didn't say much about it after all."

Mikasa looked back down at Eren. "What are your other thoughts?"

"I told you already."

"No, I mean will he live?"

Hanji exhaled she figure this question was going to come up, but she hadn't the slightest clue on to how to answer it, if it was the decaying of the body the answer would be no, but it f it wasn't then without any other information it was hard to even say 'maybe' or 'not likely' because so much was unknown.

"I can't say."

"Mikasa looked up again trying to read the aged face if there was any hint of a lie, she saw none. ""How can you learn more so you can say for certain?"

Hanji sighed once again. "Through time and observation."

"You'll watch him die?" Mikasa said in an angry tone.

"If that's what it takes, then yes."

Hanji personally wasn't' a fan of the suggestion herself, she had grown fond of the boy and the fact that put up with all of her experiments that she ran on him and did so without complaint. His honest admiration the seniors of the corps. He was humanities hope and he was also a young boy when he was given that title and thrust into the middle of a conflict that he should've been a few years older to experience.

"There's a chance that he could live, isn't' there?"

"There is." Hanji didn't feel like mention the fact the chance was certainly smaller than the fact that he could die.

Armin returned after that sentence by a few seconds carrying the bowl and the rag. He handed the objects to Hanji who set the bowl on the bedside table and dipped the rag into the water before ringing it out, folding it, and placing it onto Eren's head.

"Does that really help?" Armin asked, even with his high intelligence, he hadn't spent that much time trying to learn about the medical side of things.

Hanji shrugs. "It keeps from getting any hotter at the very least and it makes him more comfortable, but it probably doesn't treat the fever."

The room fell silent and Mikasa kept glancing at Eren and then the wall past Armin and Hanji's hands were twitching. Armin glanced between the two of them wondering what exactly had been said while he was gone, he had heard the tail end of the conversation and wasn't sure what all had been said.

"What were you just talking about when I was gone?" Armin decided to try, at worst he'd be ignored.

Mikasa answered him. "Eren's condition."

"Oh? How is it?"

"Stable, apparently."

Hanji just arched an eyebrow she didn't recall saying anything about Eren being stable, but she assumed it was a fair analysis considering that Eren's fever hadn't gone up nor had anything else stopped working.

"That's a relief." Armin let out the breath that showed his statement was true.

Mikasa nodded and shard look with Armin.

"You know that they're about to close the ward off from visitors soon. So perhaps you should get some sleep for tonight?" Hanji suggested. "I heard you were heading out on an exploration trip tomorrow Captain Artlet.

"Ah, yeah that's right, we're heading past the forest tomorrow.'"

Mikasa grasped Eren's hand not saying anything, before she let it go and started to walk out of the room, Armin following after her soon after giving Eren a parting look.

Hanji watched the two leave before she too looked down at Eren's sleeping face, it looked like the sleep he was in was far from restful. "I'll try my hardest to figure out what's wrong with you, and hopefully by the time that I do it won't be too late."

* * *

_Its cold._  Was Eren's first thought as he woke up. His mind was hazy with sleep and he couldn't really recall when he went to sleep. He struggled to open his eyes finding that he was staring at a ceiling that wasn't in his room. He glanced around and saw that the area he was in wasn't exactly top notch but it was a lot better than the room he had been staying in. Through the bed were covered in white sheets they were stained with something, Eren tried to figure out where he was before he gave up, and decided to focus on his memories. Maybe they would help him out.

He remembers feeling sick and then Armin and Mikasa came into his room to eat then something happened he wasn't sure what happened after that point everything was kind of hazy and eventually he drew up a blank.

Eren shivered once again.  _Why is it so cold?_

He pulled the blanket up further only to realize that while it looked like it was thick it was really worn.

_Great_. He huffed.

He heard the sounds of a curtain being pulled back all of the way and revealed Hanji. She blinked. "Eren? You're awake already?"

"What do you mean already?"

"Well you were rather sick, and lost a lot of blood, do you perhaps still have your regenerating abilities?"

"I don't think so."

"Why do you say that?" Hanji replied trying to keep a neutral face, if Eren didn't think that he had his regenerating abilities then that could mean that he was as human as the rest of them.

"I feel really cold and if I was healing myself then I would be too hot to be comfortable."

It was honestly sound reasoning, but the statements didn't give Hanji much hope. "I'll get you another blanket, after I check your temperature." Hanji placed her palm on Eren's head noting that it was still a little warm. Eren unconsciously leaned into the palm, since it was cooler than his head, even though the rest of him was freeing.

How odd.

"I'll be back."

Hanji disappeared and reappeared within a few minutes and placed another blanket over Eren. "Hopefully this helps."

"I'll be back in a little while to run some tests." The scientist quickly left the room letting the boy recover a little more from his incident before she started another examination on him.

Eren nodded and the other left him alone. He stared up at the ceiling contemplative. He wasn't an idiot to realize that the position that he was in was a bad one, he knew his body better than anyone and he had used it to the point where it couldn't continue in battle before. He knew his limits, his body was nearing them on their own. He knew how this was going to end up. If he was honest with himself he knew how this was going to end up from the moment that the first lump appeared. He also knew that Hanji wasn't telling him everything from the way she worded things. He hated the fact that people still treated him like he was a fifteen year old that didn't know anything of the word.

He didn't know how long he laid in that position before he fell back asleep only to be awoken by Hanji shaking him gently. "Hey, I'm going to take some samples of your blood and the protrusions and see if that tells me anything. It may hurt."

Eren attempted to sit up but Hanji stopped him. Instead she pulled up his shirt and grabbed this first syringe. Eren tried his hardest to push the memories back of his father and the syringe that carried the titan-shifter serum. He had never been fond of needles after that point.

"Alright I'm about to take a little blood, please don't move suddenly." Hanji quickly stuck the needle into Eren's arm drew about half a syringe full before pulled it out and bandaging the area. The she pushed up his shirt and grabbed the second syringe.

"This one is probably going to hurt a lot more. Sorry." Hanji winced apologetically.

Eren shrugged and as soon as he did Hanji tuck one of the lumps. Eren almost screamed with how much it hurt, but he just bit his cheek instead, drawing blood.

Hanji filled the syringe with some kind of thick whitish paste. It looked disgusting. Hanji set the other needle down before she went to work cleaning up the ooze from the lump and placing a bandage over the area.

That stuff was gross. He figured that his thought carried some weight considering he had seen his comrades thrown up by titans in front of his eyes and he didn't flinch, he'd even seen himself regrow organs. If he thought something was gross then it probably was.

"There that wasn't so bad." Hanji said after she had finished her work.

"Not really, no."

"Okay now to check on some other things and then you can go back to sleep."

Hanji went through her usual exam and the usual questions. She played with his joints; one of his elbows was swollen which caused Hanji so pause as she quickly write something down in her note book. She finished the rest of the exam by paying closer attention to his torso pressing at apparently random spots and the bumps.

"Just one more question." Hanji said while she was cleaning the room up. "Have you vomited blood before last night?"

"Vomited blood?" Eren furrowed his brow in confusion.

"Yeah you did that last night. Scared Armin and Mikasa you did."

Eren was extremely confused now. "What?"

"Don't you remember last night?"

"No, all I -remember is they came into my room, we talking for a little bit and then I work up here."

"Oh, well apparently you threw up and then passed out and so Armin fetched me and we brought you here while Mikasa confronted Jean."

"What did Jean do?"

Hanji shrugged "He didn't tell Mikasa about your condition, and as you can imagine she wasn't too thrilled with being kept out of the loop. She also had to get his permission before I could tell her anything."

"The horseface did something right for one. Imagine that."

_You just referred to our Commander as a horseface. Do you have no respect for his rank?_  Hanji kept her thoughts silent and instead went with a more neutral response. "Eren?"

"Nothing."

"Ah...Alright, I want you to stay here for a little while longer so I can observe you better."

"Sure thing."

Hanji frowned Eren was being unusually complaint. _Is it because of the amount of blood he lost last night and he's too tired to fight with me about things?_

Just as she was about to leave Eren spoke up.

"I'm going to die aren't I?"

Hanji stopped dead in her tracks and nearly choked on her breath. "What makes you say that?"

Eren gave her a look that seemed to convey more than words ever could. "I just have that feeling his all."

Hanji couldn't think of a reply. There were rarely a time when Eren would talk so hopelessly unless the situation was truly hopeless and Hanji couldn't think of a time when the sit had gotten that bad.

"I don't know what's wrong with you, but it doesn't mean you'll die."

Eren shrugged. "Where are Mikasa and Armin, I would've thought they would've been right next to me."

"Mikasa is training recruits, even though the number of them totals a whopping ten, and Armin went out on an exploration mission this morning, I doubt he'll be back soon."

Eren makes a noise that sounds like one of acknowledgement. "And Jean?"

"The Commander is in his office."

Ern made a face. "He hasn't even come down to see me. Bastard..."

Hanji wondered if Eren was saying that with actual regret or he was being realistic about the Commander visiting. For as much as the boy wore his heart on his sleeve he really was an enigma. Hanji continued out of the room, glancing down at her notes trying to get any hints from a quick glance over.

_Time to report to the Commander._

* * *

Jean didn't know what he should do. Should he visit Eren or keep his distance? But if his condition worsened then there's a chance that there would be very few times when they could clear the air so to speak. That was Jean's biggest worry about the whole thing that Eren was going to die from this stupid and pointless illness before he apologized and see where he stood, and Mikasa would probably appreciate the gesture more than Eren or himself would.

There was a knock on the door and without looking up from the documents he was supposed to be reading he called out, "Enter."

It was Hanji naturally, she was deeply invested in the book that she carried, she read for a little while longer before she looked up. "Commander I assumed would want a report of what happened to Eren."

"That would be appreciated, yes."

"Well the illness is getting worse, if that's the term we're using. Eren thinks it is as well. It's also showing on his body, he's lost a lot of muscle and weight, he's also losing blood faster than the body can replenish it. I found out that there's something inside of the lumps that I'm working on examining, well I will work on it the moment that I leave here.

"What do you mean that 'Eren think it's getting worse?"

"He seems to think that he's not going to live through it."

"Do you agree with him?" Jean posed the question that had been bothering him for a while now, he knew that Hanji's answer wasn't going to change, but maybe it could've he needs all the facts or as many as he gets before he carries out his own plan.

"As I have said before I cannot make an accurate guess."

"Yet Eren thinks he's going to die."

"He seems to think so, though he might not be thinking clearly."

"You know I've been thinking about what you said, when you told me to try and clear the air between me and him? Should I do that soon, just in case?"

"It may be for the best." Hanji said seriously. "I can't say for certain if he'll live or die, but by the time I'm certain he could already have died."

Jean nodded and folded his hands and of his rested them on his desk before he look out of the window. "You're dismissed."

Hanji saluted before she stepped out of his office. Jean watched the life outside of the windows, something that he found he quite enjoyed recently.

_I might as well get this over with._  He thought as he stood up and stretched glancing at the papers ruefully knowing that he'll have hell to pay for sending them in a little late. _If Eren's not awake when I get there then I'll come back here and finish them._

* * *

Eren stared at the ceiling apparently bored. His body may be inactive but his mind certainly wasn't. He thought about what Hanji had said, she was working on finding a cure for him. But could she? Suddenly, another thought struck Eren, and took him by surprise. Did he want to be saved? He thought about it. He figured that he was going to die when he began the last battle, Eren had assumed that the final battle would require the greatest sacrifice one could give. He pursed his lips as he debated. He had known that the war would be taxing and costly to him, especially after he took up the mantle of humanities greatest, and last, hope.

If he thought about it harder, he realized that the reason he kept going was his hatred of the titans and the fact that he had wanted to kill them all, he had sworn that he wasn't going to die until all the titans had perished. Now that he didn't have that vow to live by, what did he have?

What use was a Titan-Shifter any more? Its not like they couldn't repair the walls if they were still going to use them as a focal point of humanity, and even if they asked for him to do it he didn't know if he could even use the titan part of him, much less keep it under control.

Perhaps it was better if he just faded out of this world quietly, maybe he should hope that Hanji couldn't cure him.

_I should just be grateful for being able to go out peacefully._  Eren sighed.

"Should I be worried about what you're thinking so hard on? After all you were never a thinker always a doer."

Eren looked up, surprised by the voice. He was even more surprised to see Jean standing in the doorway. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Should you really be taking that tone with your Commander?" Jean replied stepping closer to the bed.

"No." Eren mumbled, he still couldn't get over the fact that Jean had become the Leader of the Survey Corps while he was out cold.

"How do you feel?" Eren could see Jean shift slightly.

"Surprisingly decent."

"That's good."

An awkward silence filled the room between them, they had hardly spent anytime with each when there wasn't another person present. After all they had spent years at each other's throats, fighting and cursing each other's existence. Jean coughed and then took the vacant chair that was near Eren's bed, not too subtle pulling it just a little further away from, Eren's bed. Eren huffed.

Jean just arched an eyebrow. He made himself comfortable and cleared his throat. Eren looked away and then at Jean out of the corner of his eye.

"Why are you even here?" Eren asked after a few minutes of Jean's shifting in the chair and silence.

"Can't I pay my soldiers a visit when they're in the infirmary?"

"You can, but why me?" Eren inquired. " I mean you probably have more pressing things to attend to than to sit here with me."

"I'm taking a break from those pressing things."

"And decided to visit me?"

"Well since there haven't been any attacks recently you're basically the only one here, and that limits who I can visit."

"So you're visiting me because I'm the only one that's sick?"

Jean seized his chance to get to the true reason of him being here. "Not exactly."

"So then why?"

"You still think I can't stand you." Jean replies unconsciously mimicking the words from months prior

"And you can't. This is the first time we've spoken in months after all."

Jean shrugged. "You said it yourself, I'm busy and have important documents to attend to."

"So the first thing you do when you get free time is visit me? Why?" Eren arched an eyebrow

"To see how you're doing."

Eren shrugged. He assumed that Jean knew what was going on with him with at least some basic knowledge that was reported to him by Hanji.

"But according to Hanji, it seems that you don't think you'll make it through whatever this illness is. So I wouldn't say you're doing to fine."

"How much has Hanji told you?"

"About everything she knows, but a lot of it goes over my head, you know Corporal Hanji and her scientific terms."

"Ah."

"So, do you think that there's a chance of you living through this?"

"I think that my only chance is Hanji finding a cure or a near miracle, and we both know that those don't happen often."

Jean didn't respond to that for awhile, he knew that Eren was relatively faithless, always had been, but to hear that he thought so little of his actual chances was a shock. Eren was after all the one who had dreamed of killing all of the Titans and thought that he was invincible until he met his goal. The Commander shifted in his chair while thinking of a reply.

"Its weird."

"What is?" Jean titled his head towards Eren.

"That dying doesn't bother me as much as one would think."

Jean shrugged. "You've seen a lot."

"Does that mean its alright for me not to care if I live?" Eren asked, anger barely evident.

"No, well yes." Jean scratched the back of his head. "What I mean is if you're tired of everything then you're tired of everything. No one can fault you for that after what you've done and seen."

Eren nodded. "I suppose you're right."

Jean grunted, stood up and then stretched. "Mikasa is probably finished with training right about now, and I'd rather stay out of her way. She isn't too pleased with me not telling her about you."

"You didn't tell anyone?"

"Wasn't my business to tell. I also had it kept entirely secret. I don't think you want complete stranger informed about your health."

Eren shrugged, sliding lower into the bed. "Not like there haven't been times when that was the case. Humanity's Greatest Hope after all, they wanted to make sure I was fit and healthy and able to help them win."

Jean made his way out of the room, stopping at the doorway before he left. "You know, I'll always listen, if you ever want to talk. Or help if I can."

Eren hummed his acknowledgement and Jean left.

* * *

The first thing Hanji did when she arrived back at the lab was to put the fluid samples into different vials for storage. She wasn't sure what tests she was going to run on them yet, she had to compare her notes. She opened up her journal and read through the several months that she had treated Eren. She had tried herb salves on his joints to see if it would relieve any of the swelling, which it didn't. She had tried bloodletting, and even changing his diet to try and get his humors back in sync. None of it had worked, or if it had it lasted a short amount of time.

As she read through her journal she noted that there had been a steadiness to his symptoms they hadn't changed that much. Sometimes a symptom would disappear and then a while later they would reappear, then minor symptoms would show up; a small cough here, a low fever there, occasional bruising under the eyes, and severe headaches that lasted more than a few days.

In a sense there wasn't enough that stayed consistent that she could make a list of and compare to other diseases, what was consistent was the swollen joints and the lumps. Hanji actually doubted that she could even get near the actual problem with those two symptoms, she wasn't a doctor she was a scientist, and the only reason that she was even examining Eren was because she had been ordered to keep him healthy as he was more of a titan at times than a human. After all she was still the leading Titan Researcher.

She flipped through the last few pages of her exam reports and was left with nothing that was even slightly useful. She closed the book and looked around her "lab." There was barely anything for her to use for her experiments, since there was no need for a Titan Researcher anymore the government decided that there was no need to give her branch that much funding.

"Probably still holding a grudge about that one time, really." She muttered as she stood up.

She pushed her glasses further onto her face and looked at the vials containing Eren's fluids. Hanji picked up the one that held Eren's blood, and pursed her lips in slight confusion. The blood looked and felt no different from that of an ordinary human; not that titan's blood appeared any different when it initially is spilled. Even so its always been hotter than human blood when she took samples from Eren and it cooled off so much slower than regular blood, and even then the glass would become brittle from the heat. The Corporal had dealt with more than one shattered beaker and damaged papers as a result from Eren's blood. But this was just bizarre.

Hanji placed the vial back in its stand and picked up the substance that she had removed from one of the lumps. She held it up to the lamp. The fluid was an off white color, and moved more sluggishly than the blood, or any other liquid she had ever encountered, the fluid even seemed to be almost more solid than liquids should be. She swirled the beaker around and was met with the same result. Out of curiosity she popped the cork and sniffed it. There was an odor to it, faint but there. It was similar to the smell given off by an infected wound.

Could this be the same as the ooze that comes off a person when they didn't get a cut treated and cleaned?

She placed the vial next to the blood as she pondered this.  
The idea was certainly viable as any other she had come up with so far. Though in all of her years of working near the medical tents she had never heard of there being any of the fluid inside of the body. anywhere else but outside of the body. The brunette rubbed at her head; the doctors always cleaned the wounds with vinegar, if they lived in the inner wall, or if they were in the field they used lye.

Hanji winced, vinegar was rare to come by these days and lye seemed to also harm also as much as it helped. Though, she pondered, perhaps if it worked on external wounds then perhaps if you let it soak into the skin it can clean the inside of it.

She made a note to try it. "How would we apply it though?"

Hanji twirled the quill in her hand, and found a spare sheet of parchment and a bottle of ink that was nearly used up. She wrote down whatever ideas came to her mind to solve the predicament.

Rubbing it into the lump multiple times a day.

With a quick slash of the quill, she scratched the idea out. It wasn't feasible and there wasn't a guarantee that it was actually being rubbed into the lump instead of the hand of whoever was applying it. Wearing any type of glove would cause the cleaner to be absorbed into the another idea struck her.

Soaking a rag in the cleaner and leaving it to rest on the afflicted areas.

The idea was a little more practical, after all the only exposure that wouldn't be Eren would be between the time its lifted from the bowl to Eren. Hanji let the quill rest on the paper careful not to bend the tip. There was still the problem of Eren liking to move around when he slept which increased the chance that Eren was going to cause the rag to slip off the lump and nullify the treatment.

Hanji made a line through the idea, but kept it in mind. Then, in a stroke of genius she realized how she was going to solve the conundrum she had gotten herself into.

Soak bandages in the cleaner and secure.

Even the researcher had to give herself a pat on the back for that one, it was the easiest way to apply the vinegar(or lye) without the chance of it getting removed. Also people with bandages tended to be reminded that they were actually injured or sick and needed to take it easy. Not that Eren had ever heeded that warning, but just like everything there was a first time for everything. Though with Eren it was likely that he'd have to be on his death bed to listen to something that was advised to him for his own sake.

Hanji shook her head. It wasn't right to think things like that now, Eren very well may die, and the chances grew each day that she didn't figure out how to cure the soldier.

There was a brief moment when Hanji was taken back to the days when she first knew the Titan-shifter and how all she wanted to do was figure out what made him tick, now she realized that after years of working with him she wanted him to succeed and she wanted him to live. How ironic.

She placed the quill back in its holder and the cap back on the ink. The paper was grabbed and folded up, the Corporal knew that the most likely thing was some of the ink was going to smear. Hanji headed in the direction of the medicine cabinet where she knew that the products she was looking for would be kept. She figured that she'd be able to get what she needed by just showing up, but with the temporary shortage of supply, until they could get the workers back in production, she may have to go and get the Commander's signature again.

As expected there was a lone soldier "guarding" the supplies, he yawned and looked utterly bored. He did snap to attention the moment that he saw Hanji approaching.

"What can I do for you, ma'am?"

"I need to get into the supplies."

"Uh, sure..." The guard looked a little doubtful but he took out the key and unlocked the door.

Once the door was open Hanji headed into the cabinet looking for the supplies she needed, since the shelves were nearing bare in some areas it was easier to find what she required.

On her way out she grabbed one of the bowls, placing the soap and bandages in it.

"Thank you."

The guard looked taken aback by being taken aback by being thanked by a superior officer; he saluted in return.

Hanji headed towards medical area, taking the shortcuts she knew about. When she arrived at the station she called a nurse over; once she was certain that she was on her way to fill the water Hanji headed towards the location of Eren's bed.

The boy was asleep and Hanji felt bad for waking him, she hadn't found anything more curing than rest, and she knew that Eren probably had already been woken up at least once her guilt was offset by the fact that she had a treatment plan that she wanted to get started right away, she knew that she was working with borrowed time.

She waited for the nurse to return with the bowl of water, and a little while later the nurse returned carrying the bowl between two hands and Hanji could see a small amount of steam rising from the bowl. She thanked them before turning towards the bowl herself and grabbing the bar of soap and started to help it dissolve into the water.

Once she was satisfied that the water was sufficiently soapy she started to unroll the bandages and put them in the water to soak up the soap. She kept an eye on the bandages to make sure they wouldn't get too soaked otherwise they would start to unravel.

Hanji moved to wake up Eren, gently shaking his shoulder. The boy blinked his eyes open slowly, then let out a long yawn. Eren looked up to see who woke him up.

"Huh?" He said once everything was starting to register.

"I thought of a treatment for you." Hanji answered. "Can you take off your shirt?"  
Eren started to push himself into a sitting position and then struggled to pull off his shirt, Hanji had to step up to help him, she pulled off the shirt and Eren moved to make that job easier for her. They eventually got the shirt off.

The doctor looked at Eren's chest. The assortment of lumps had grown, there was at least one new one, but for the old ones they had grown in size and were a dark purple, now with a slightly green tinge. Hanji pressed on a few she knew to be older and saw Eren wince but not as much as he had prior. That could either be good or bad, Hanji thought.

Then she turned to the bowl of soaking bandages and pulled out one of the shorter ones.

"This may sting a bit."

As delicately as she could she applied pressure as she covered on of the bumps, watching to see if anything surprising happened. Nothing did. So with good conscious she started to cover each of the bumps in a lye-soaked bandage. Then once that was done she fully wrapped Eren's in a single dry bandage to secure the wet ones.

"I'll be back later to check on progress."

If there's any. Hanji thought almost the identical thing as Eren. She knew this was a long shot but she wasn't sure how big of one it was.

"Mikasa should be done with the trainees soon." Hanji said as an afterthought as she was helping Eren to pull on his shirt.

Eren merely grunted as he straightened his shirt and fell back against the pillows.

Hanji grabbed the bowl of soapy water and left Eren to his rest.

* * *

Mikasa walked into Eren's room as she had done everyday for nearly three weeks, right after training was finished. Nothing had changed overnight, but that wasn't new. She straightened her scarf and sat down next to Eren's bed. For the first bit of her visiting time she stayed silent, cooling off from her recent workout with the recruits, and she also wanted to see if Eren was going to wake up on his own.

It wouldn't be fair to say nothing had changed, in truth Eren had gotten steadily thinner, paler, and quicker to tire. He slept almost the entire day now. Hanji had said it was part of the recovery process, sleeping. However Mikasa had little faith, Hanji had been at a dead end since her last treatment had only proved to dry out and irritate the skin around the lumps.

There was movement next to her and she turned her head. Eren was slowly waking up, the black-haired girl waited patiently.

Soon enough she saw the bright green of Eren's eyes. The lids fell back down but opened just as quickly, almost as if to reacquaint themselves to the world, they cleared up as Eren was fully awake now.

"Afternoon." Mikasa greeted.

Eren swallowed and cleared his throat. "Is it that late?"  
"Yes." She replied. "Thirsty?"

"Yeah."

Mikasa waited a few seconds, watching as Eren struggled to push himself was also something that had gotten worse as well. Mikasa waited a few more seconds, knowing that should she try to help him to soon his pride would be injured; but she also knew that if she let it go on for too long it'd also hurt his pride. Once she deemed it an acceptable time to help Eren, she did so.

Then, when Eren was leaning against the pillows Mikasa turned her attention to the pitcher and cup.

Eren sipped the water slowly, yet eagerly, hands shaking as he did so. Distantly Mikasa wondered how much longer even this strength would last. She bit back a sigh; if they didn't find a cure, she wasn't certain of Eren's chances of survival. Eren finished drinking and held the cup in his hand, there was the quiet sound of liquid sloshing with the small tremors in his hand. Gingerly Mikasa took the cup from him and set it back on the table.

Then there was a pause, Eren looked at Mikasa, his sister, was staring at the blanket.

"Mikasa?"

"Armin said he'd be back soon. We got his letter this morning."  
"Oh?"

Mikasa nodded. "Yeah he ran out of supplies and he wants to stop in and see how you're doing."

Eren sighed. "That'll be fun."

She found herself nodding once again. "I'm sure he has lots of stories about what he's seen that he's dying to share with you."

It was then Mikasa knew she had said the wrong thing. Eren's face darkened before it changed to one of sadness.

"Eren..."

Her brother shook his head. "No, it's fine. I'm glad he's doing what he wanted. We fought in the war for that reason, among many, so we could have a future."

Mikasa adjusted herself in the chair. "Yeah."

The pair slipped into a silence, that at first was awkward, but then the awkwardness slowly ebbed away until there was nothing left but calmness and understanding. Mikasa looked around the room, there was nothing personal about the space, she wondered if bringing something from Eren's meager possessions would make this place less dreary.

The impulse struck her rather suddenly, the feeling was fleeting and the reason as to why she had felt it was unknown. Mikasa glanced to Eren, he was probably half-asleep if the droopy eyes were anything to go by, but she could tell that he was coherent enough that he would remember her words.

"I've said this before..." She began, her mind flashed back to the day when she was certain they were going to die under that titan's foot in that meadow. "But thank you for everything."

Eren arched an eyebrow but said nothing as he shifted himself into a more comfortable sleeping position. "You don't have to thank me."

Mikasa looked away, towards a blank spot on the wall, she knew that Eren had helped her that time because he thought that it had been the right thing to do. He still thought that you shouldn't be thanked or worshipped for doing something that should've been done anyway. It was refreshing to know that he still kept his naivtivity in small amounts.

Though, Eren still managed to surprise her at times.

"But you're welcome."

Her head whipped back to him faster than was probably healthy. However Eren had already managed to nod off or his acting skills had improved greatly. Mikasa assumed that it was the former as she watched him for a few seconds. He looked peaceful, or as peaceful as one can with an incredibly pale complexion and light labored breathing.

There was a calm silence that filled room and Mikasa could hear the sound of the medics going about their daily business. She stood up, never one to waste the day, however much was left of it.

She headed out of the room, attempting to ponder her feeling that she had earlier. The reason was still a mystery as to why she suddenly felt the need for her to show her thankfulness, but years of being a soldier had taught her that it paid to listen to her instincts even if they didn't exactly make sense.

Mikasa shook her head clearing it of those thoughts, whatever was she had done it and now she had to wait and see why she had decided that it was so important at the time. She shook her head again and walked down the hallway with the confidence a captain should, she still had recruits that needed a little more discipline than they currently had.

* * *

_In time and most likely sooner than Mikasa would've liked, considering, she learned why she had that feeling; that small inkling that compelled her that day. Oddly enough when Armin returned from his exploration mission and he visited Eren and had almost the same thing happen. Though neither of soldiers would realize the coincidence until years later. But now I'll take the time to visit with Armin's visit with Eren._

* * *

Armin wasn't entirely sure what to expect when he walked into Eren's room. Some part of him thought that Eren was on his deathbed, a sick corpse waiting for the moment when it could end its pitiful existence. The other part of him, the more optimistic part, thought that maybe his friend had only been bedridden and was on his way to recovery, slightly pale and a little thin but ready to take on the world.

What he he got was neither, or maybe a sick cross between the two; Armin honestly couldn't decide.

The last letter he received from Mikasa had told him that Eren wasn't looking too good and Hanji's treatment wasn't working.

He had thought the direness of that letter had been spurred on by Mikasa's worry, the letter had only been four days old but Eren didn't look at all like Armin would have thought. Eren had been pale the last time he had seen him, the night that they found out about Eren's sickness.

Armin took another few minutes to observe Eren, thankfully the other seemed to be asleep, Mikasa had also mentioned that Eren was thinner than he had been, Armin was just now noticing how loosely Eren's shirt fit. Taking the room in, Armin noticed the bowl that had bandages sitting next to it. The blond could only guess that he was looking at Eren's treatment.

His friend had yet to awaken, so Armin stood awkwardly for a moment before he noticed the chair sitting next to Eren's bed.

As quietly as he could, Armin seated himself in the chair. He prefered to talk to Eren before he returned to the world beyond the walls, but the other did not appear to be waking up anytime soon. The blond chewed on his lip wondering whether or not to wake him. His friend was obviously in need of the rest.

Armin was so lost in his thoughts that he failed to notice Eren waking up. The blond started when he heard a groan from beside him

."Eren?"

"Who else would it be?" The other replied with a tired smile.

"It's good to see you Armin."

"Its nice to you, as well." Armin internally berated himself, why was he acting so formal with his childhood friend?

The blond watched as Eren struggled to push himself up, Armin noted the tremble in his friend's arms and how large his elbows were compared to the rest of him.

That looks painful, he thought.

Belatedly, Armin realized that he should probably help the his friend up since it didn't look like he could do it himself. Gingerly Armin placed a hand on Eren's back and slowly pushed him into a sitting position.

Armin grabbed a pillow and placed it behind Eren's head; he then leaned back in the chair, waiting to see what Eren would do. The brunette leaned back and shifted a little but seemed to be comfortable.

"So..." Eren began. "What have you been doing?"

"I've been looking for suitable places to start settlements, I've also been helping them to get started." Armin answered automatically.

Eren chuckled, or wheezed, it was hard to tell. "What's it like, the outside world?"

Armin took a breath. "Its better than in the book! There are these huge areas with nothing but grasses and flowers. Sometimes, the grass is so tall it comes up to my chest."

"What about those huge places of salt water? The..." Eren paused searching for the word. "the sea! Or was it ocean?"

"We haven't found it yet, I'm still looking."

Eren's eyes were alight for, what Armin guessed, the first time in months. "What else is there?"

Armin thought for a second on what to tell Eren. "Well do you remember reading about those things called mountains?"

"I think so, they're the really big hills right?"

Armin shakes his head. "They're more than that, they're entirely made out of stone, and they reach up to the sky, they tower over the walls! I think there is snow on the top of them as well, I didn't get that close to one, but I saw it from a distance."

"Wow, snow in this heat and they're taller than the walls?" Eren's eyes were wide. "Made out of stone?"

"Well its all naturally shaped, its still really impressive!"

Eren leaned back grinning. "Wow, I wish I could see them"

Armin swallowed not sure what he should do at this point, should he comfort Eren and say that he will be able to see them and see the ocean, or should he keep from giving the other false hope.

"But more than anything I want to see the sea."

Armin nodded, he had been looking forward to seeing it with his own eyes, but he had always imagined that Eren would be with him, but with these turn of events he wondered if that was nothing more than a childhood dream for the other. The blond then shook his head, clearing his mind of the negative thoughts, he vaguely remembered his grandfather telling him if he worried enough then it would come true.

Silence fell between the two, Armin not wanting to dishearten Eren any more with his tales from the outside world, but that's the only topic he could think of that wouldn't turn into him worrying over Eren's health and ultimately asking about it, Armin had been doing well holding his tongue so far. He knew how his friend was about those types of things.

Eren's eyes were dimmer, and while Armin still had trouble reading his friends when the cues were subtle he could guess with certainty what his friend was feeling. Depression and resignation.

"You'll get to see it, I'm sure!" Armin blurted out against his better judgement, he couldn't stand having his friend look like that.

"How can you be?" The words weren't said with anger, but with a tone that said Eren was humoring Armin more than anything.

"Because whatever is wrong with you can be cured." Armin replied, logically he knew that each day there was no progress in finding a treatment the chances of finding a cure would lessen, the disease after all still progressed.

Eren opened and closed his mouth several times, seeming to lose the words. Finally he sighed, a cough trailing at the end. "I do want to see the outside world, still."

But you've given up on fighting this haven't you?

Eren's face changed from a neutral expression into one of shock. Armin blinked realizing that he had said his sentiment instead of just thinking it.

"Armin... I..."

The blond shook his head. "Eren, I don't need excuses, this isn't like you. You should be fighting this out until your last breath, like you did with the titans!"

The brunet only shook his head and settled further into the blankets. Armin bit his cheek but decided to not press the matter, Eren would explain his actions in time, and the strategist was sure that Eren hadn't really given up, it was just a dark time and there appeared like there was no cure. Even the strongest of people had those moments.

The two sat in silence, it was somehow painful and tense. Armin lost in his own thoughts never noticed that Eren's labored breaths had evened out into deeper but more consistent breaths. When the blond did notice he wasn't sure how long it had been since the other drifted off to sleep.

Armin let out a sigh, he was sure that the other hadn't been awake for more than an half an hour at the most, but Eren seemed liked he was so utterly drained of energy that it was a struggle to get him to stay conscious. The blond ran his eyes over his friend once again, taking in the exact paleness, how sunken the other's cheeks were, the dark circles underneath his eyes. There was a flush of red across the bridge of his nose and the small beads of sweat.

It looked similar to the soldiers who had a limb amputated and it got infected but it didn't just stay in the original area but spread to other parts of the body. From experience he knew that very few of those soldiers who had that happen to them survived, Armin preferred not to think about his friend like that. However the logical part of him said that it was a possibility that this is what was happening to Eren.

He had the urge to say something, he just wasn't sure what. But he did find himself speaking aloud.

"I don't think I've ever told you how much it meant to me that you befriended me and remained my friend. It means more than I could ever put into words, I think." Armin took a breath in. "When you declared that you were going to kill all the titans I couldn't help but to be awed by your bravery and determination, and I got swept up in it, when, at the time I honestly never wanted to see a titan again."

Eren shifted on the bed but stayed asleep.

"So joining the military with you was the only thing I could think to do, just so I wouldn't be left alone, I would've followed you anywhere. You made a promise to see the outside world with me, and in a way that promise was fulfilled we did see beyond the walls, it just wasn't as glamorous as we had thought it would be. Still a promise is a promise."

Armin couldn't find it in himself to stay in the room with his friend, who he knew was slowly dying and deteriorating as he spoke.

"So I promise that I'll go to the sea, and I'll take Mikasa with me, that's the only thing I can offer really."

The blond quickly left the room with his sleeping friend, and headed down to the mess hall sense he could see the sun setting.

* * *

When Eren awoke next he was, blissfully, alone. He could tell that it was late at night based on the shadows the moon caused; they were elongated making the room look haunted. Turning his head he saw that there was a cup of water, full and untouched, on the nightstand. He wasn't sure who left it, but he was grateful for the thought of him.

His throat was scratchy, and his mouth was dry and gummy. The feeling he had grown accustomed to having but he still didn't exactly like it. He pushed himself up, slowly and carefully since there was no one else to help him up. Eren tried to get the pillow to prop right up against the wall but it kept slowly sliding down, but he'd take what he'd get. He wouldn't be up long anyway, the illness taking up most of his strength, hell most of his energy went to just normal body functions.

Well, they weren't as normal anymore, but he still had them which meant for the most part that he was still alive.

Once he was sitting up as much as he could manage, he reached over towards the cup, his entire hand trembling badly. He was able to get it over to the cup and wrap his fingers around it, taking a deep breath, which was actually fairly shallow but the action was there, he attempted to lift the cup... nothing happened. Sighing he tightened his fingers as much as he could and started to pull the cup to him slowly. He had it to the end of the table and he reached up his other hand to wrap around the cup and he lifted it up.

The cup and his arms were shaking, and it was a challenge to get the water up to his lips. His struggles weren't in vain as the burning his throat was finally soothed by the water, even though it was room temperature. After drinking for as long as his arms could hold the cup, he carefully lowered the cup to his lap. There was still a little more than half left.

His stomach gurgled in hunger, but Eren knew full and well that if he tried to eat anything, depending on what it was, he would throw it up in a matter of minutes. Gritting his teeth he moved his arms to set the cup back on the nightstand, the task while simple was taking more out of him than he thought that he had left.

He slid down so that his head was resting on the bed, and he let himself catch his breath as best he could.

While the symptoms could be seen on the outside, he knew that he majority of his illness was internal, he wasn't sure how, but he could just feel it. There was a constant feeling of someone pressing on his lungs, but there was also the feeling like his intestines were being ripped apart, and not to mention the squeezing he got in his heart.

Eren shifted making himself more comfortable, now that his throat was no longer aching and scratchy he was able to think more clearly. The first thing his mind went to was his conversation with Armin. He knew he should've had more faith in his friend and that it would take the blond no time at all to get a read on him. Still he wasn't expecting Armin's face when he said that line

It had been certain, it was filled with certainty, some sort of sadness, and there was something else that Eren couldn't quite place.

He had known for awhile that he wasn't going to survive this illness, he's cheated death too many times already, and he knew that he had to depend on other people to cure him, but they only had so much to work with

If it wasn't for Hanji, Eren was certain that he would've died months ago. He had the treatments and a the will to beat this, but now he was slowly losing his will and his condition was worsening, there was no breakthroughs, there hadn't been for some time now. It was just a matter of time before he passed the point of no return.

But it bugged him still, how Armin had said it, there wasn't any anger or sadness, the blond had simply knew.

To some extent Eren knew that he hadn't really wanted to live after the titans fell, he would have only one goal after that(to see the ocean) and then he had nothing, he'd have to spend the rest of his life wandering aimlessly trying to find something to pass the years with. However he hadn't expected not being able to even see the ocean.

He wondered what actually caused his illness, but he supposed in the long run it didn't matter, he was dying and there wasn't a damn thing he could do to fight it.

His chest constricted and he let out several harsh coughs, eventually having a smattering of red mix in with the white-yellow sputum. He groaned and rubbed his hand across the covers as he struggled to regulate his breathing, which he finally did after what he figured was several minutes.

He exhaled, hearing a slight wheeze as he did so. Eren found himself grimacing, it sounded similar to the time that he almost drowned. Briefly he wondered if it was possible to drown without being dunked underwater.

Eren's eyes widened, for the first time he realized that he had no idea how he was going to die, or how this illness was going to kill him. Would he feel like he was drowning, or would it be like he time he got stabbed through the chest with a pole? Was he going to die when his body finally wasted away into a husk or would death strike him suddenly?

He honestly had no idea how he was going to die, and for once he felt the icy tendrils closing around his lungs as fear settled in... or it could be his lungs decided to not work, he wasn't entirely sure. Death wasn't what scared him, he had seen too much of it, and experienced it more than once, it was the fact that this was a totally unknown way of dying. He had seen how people died because of wounds and sickness, it wasn't pleasant but they knew what they were in for, an unknown illness had an unknown way of dying. That was truly frightening.

For a second, the thought of him lying alive on the bed but unable to do anything on his own flashed through his head. In those seconds he felt hopelessness, a totally foreign concept to him until recently. Eren, he didn't want to die not being able to feed himself, needing help with every little thing. All there was for him at that point was to go through the days as his life force slipped away until he lost it all and died.

That vision was what caused the thought to enter his head, he couldn't die weak and helpless; not after what he went through. He knew that there was limited time before that vision was more than a thought created in the mind of panic. There was a time when he detested the thought of suicide, but understood why people did it. They just couldn't live anymore.

He wanted to die fighting and not begging for mercy.

Now he just had to figure out how he was going to pull it off without someone tipping anyone off of his plan.

He closed his eyes, even the act of think was causing him to become exhausted quickly,he knew that his strength to do this was in short supply, so he would need to act quickly. That night Eren dreamt of the days he sat under the tree predicting what the world beyond the walls was like and plotting how to get out there without being caught by the guard or his parents.

* * *

Jean was confused as to why Eren requested him personally, at this hour of the day. The sun was already dipping below the horizon. The only reason he could think of for this random summons was that Eren had need of him.

So when he reached the room he didn't bother with the pleasantries. It gave him some sense of control with this entire situation.

"What do you need?"

Eren was sitting upright, and looking around bright eyed and scowling. He didn't say anything for a few minutes.

In that space of time Jean was transported back years. The time where Eren getting hurt on a mission was commonplace but the doctor's still housed him in the infirmary even though he was perfectly healthy. Those days Jean would sneak into where they had Eren just to tease him and make fun of him for being bed ridden. For all of his trouble he would get a choice nickname and that scowl he was seeing on Eren's face.

That scowl and life he hadn't seen in months.

It was reassuring but terrifying at the same time.

"You said that there was a monument for those that died in the war."

It was a statement. Jean nodded.

"I want to see it."

The request was simple. It made sense, but for some reason it confused Jean. He had heard one of the nurses talk about how they had seen Eren get up earlier and walk around. It was a good sign.

Or a very very bad one.

He wasn't sure yet.

"Why?"

Eren shrugged. "I want to see it. Hanji won't let me go, and you said to ask if I needed help."

At least he was aware enough that he wouldn't make it by himself. The Commander couldn't see a reason why it would be a bad idea other than it would be taxing. But this could also be the day that everything is perfect before it takes a turn for the worse. The monument wasn't that far away, it'd take only a quarter of an hour to get there. Eren likely wouldn't stay long, he wasn't sentimental, so this would probably be a closure thing.

The more Jean thought about it, the more he was inclined to agree to this wish. He'd be nearby if something happened, but he also wouldn't catch hell for taking a patient out of the hospital.

"Fine."

Eren seemed to sit up straighter. "That's it?" No argument?"

"I said ask if you needed something, even I'm not that big of a jerk to retract a statement like that."

Jean heard a huff, and he knew that was as close as a thank you as he was going to get. It was almost like they were back being regular soldiers before all of the shit happened and they had time to build up their sense of camaraderie.

It took Eren a long time to get into clothes that could provide some protection from the chill of the night. Eren had wanted to wear his old uniform, but it didn't fit any longer and the cotton cloak was too heavy for him.

The sight was pitiful, the once strong and vibrant Eren Jaeger was reduced to leaning on someone as he walked.

Jean would never pity Eren, he had fought along side him too long for that. But he would admit that there was something wrong with the sight. It wasn't how Eren was supposed to be.

The silence was what got him most. For as long as he could remember Eren had always had something to say, stupid or not, loud or quiet. There had always been noise.

Now it was like Eren didn't have the strength to even sigh.

The longer they walked the more that Jean could tell how much of a struggle this actually was for Eren.

He sighed in relief when the statue appeared.

"I'm gonna move you close to it, and then I'll head over to the side." Jean spoke.

Eren startled at the sudden voice. "Yeah. I'll holler when I want to leave."

"Sure."

That was the last that Jean spoke for the moment, the statue near enough that Eren could stand and admire all of the fine craftsmanship of it. If he was one to do such things.

This was a private moment and he didn't want to intrude on it. So he dropped the arm he was holding and walked away several paces and out of sight.

* * *

_Jean had no idea what Eren was planning. If he had perhaps then this night would've played out differently. But alas it was as the fates decreed. Our story is nearing its end now. Listen closely._

* * *

Eren, when he had looked at how he had thought his life would end hadn't expected it to end quite like this. Taking his own life at the foot of the statue depicting the faces of people he once knew, fought alongside even. He had heard older men say that taking your own life was the coward's way out, and maybe, in a way it was. Eren knew that he grew sicker and sicker with each passing day, he grew weaker as well. The only thing that gave him solace was that this would be the last time he saw a full moon.

If is wasn't for Jean helping him to get here he doubted that he would've gotten as far as he had. He let out a wheezy cough, wincing as his chest compressed painfully. He wiped his hand across his face and stared up at the statue.

The immortalized faces of his comrades looked out towards the horizon, or maybe even the crumbling walls. He followed their unmoving gaze and saw that they just looked out and it could be towards any number of things.

Eren sighed, he could carry out his plan, but not here; this was to be a sacred statue. The last thing he wanted for his resting comrades was for there to be rumors, legends in time, about the boy who took his life in front of the statute. If such things exist as spirits he didn't want his spirit tied to this spot which held such significance.

Jean wasn't far away, Eren knew that the Commander had stayed within earshot distance, but he at least wanted to do something for himself, again, before he died. With a great amount of effort he pushed himself off of the ground and staggered a bit, before he found himself face down on the ground. The blow previously would've winded him for a minute but he would've been able to get himself back up; now it was a struggle just to move his arms to put them underneath him so he could push himself up.

"Eren?"

God damn it. The brunette figured that he had made a noise when he had fallen that alerted Jean to his fall.

"What the hell are you doing?" Jean asked, he sounded genuinely confused.

"The ground looked comfortable." Eren spat back, mad at himself more than Jean, for once.

Jean blew air out his nose, letting Eren know that he was exasperated but still willing to humor himself a little longer."Right, did you want to leave? I told you that when you're ready just call for me."

Eren made a grunt of acknowledgement as he was finally able to peel his face off of the cobblestones. "Isn't there a garden near by?"

The slighter male turn his head just enough to see Jean's face. The Commander bit at his bottom lip while he thought. "There's the Garden of the Fallen, it's actually over that way, this statue is kind of the entrance of it."

"Is there a tree in the garden?"

Jean looked rather confused. "Yeah, why?"

"Can you help me get to it?"

The Commander said nothing as he bent down lower and maneuvered Eren so that when he stood Eren had an arm around his neck and Jean was supporting him around the waist, similar to how they got to the statue originally.

The walk to the tree nearly took all of the Eren's remaining strength, he hoped that he would have enough to carry out his plan, he doubted he would get another chance as perfect as this. Jean for once was silent as they made the journey and Eren was grateful because he didn't want to hear chit-chat right now.

They made it to the tree, Eren looked up to the tree and saw that it was one of the trees with the white blossoms. It was a pretty sight as the moonlight made the blossoms seem brighter than they actually were.

Jean helped Eren to sit down and lean against the trunk of the tree. Eren mumbled a thank you.

"I'll be nearby, so holler when you want to leave."

Eren nodded and watched as Jean walked away. To be honest he was surprised that Jean was willing to be this helpful in his random whims. Was it because he was dying? Or did the Commander actually mean what he said about being willing to help?

A petal fell from one of the flowers from the tree. Eren watched as it hit the ground. He slid his hand into his pocket, trying to avoid the sharpest part of the blade he had brought with him. He had lucked out when the piece had fallen out off of his cloak, otherwise he wasn't sure how he was going to do this.

He pulled it out and held it in his hands, letting out a long breath. Eren looked up at the sky once more, reflecting on his life.

It hadn't had a good one, the first ten or so years of his life were great, but after the Titans attacked, it seemed the older he got the more friends he out lived and how every day he spent fighting and trying to stop those deaths and trying to kill of the titans. It was like the longer he lived, the easier it was for him to face tragedy and the more true happiness escaped his grasp.

He fiddled with the blade, running his finger down its edge, a small cut formed and blood trickled out lazily. Eren wiped his finger on his pants, it was still bleeding. A grimace formed on his face. It was a display of how poor his body had become.

Distantly he wondered what the others would think, and how long it would take Jean to get worried and come find him. Eren clenched his fist around the blade. he could feel it digging into his skin, his heart rate accelerated. He could feel the uneven beating of it, how it was stalling and beating in quick succession almost like it was trying to make up for the missed beats.

Eren clenched his teeth, biting into his chapped lip. He raised a bony wrist, it shook with the effort to raise itself and the blade. The edge of the fragment glinted sinisterly in the light, Eren's breath caught.

Would he even be able to kill himself like this? He wondered, he had never tried, thought about it when they were fighting in the war; but he could never bring himself to carry the act out the thought would always stop when he recalled the title "Humanities Last Hope". He wouldn't let hope die with him, but now that the hope had been restored he wasn't needed any longer.

Eren inhaled sharply, something told him it was now or never. With the last bit of strength he possessed his slammed the blade through his chest until the entire thing was buried. His eyesight started to fade to black due to his, but before he passed out he saw the white petal stained with red.

* * *

Jean leaned against the wall in the garden; waiting for Eren to call for him to leave. If he didn't soon, then Jean was personally going drag his ass back to base. A sudden wind blew, and Jean was suddenly on edge, the air had an ominous feel to it.

Without warning Jean took off towards the tree where he had left Eren, following his soldier's instincts. Something had happened to the shifter, he knew it but he wasn't sure what.

The Commander slowed his pace down as he approached the tree. He saw Eren slumped down, almost like he was sleeping, but as Jean neared he saw a darkened spot on on the other's tunic. Something in his gut settled making it feel heavy. There was no way.

The night was still bright enough that when Jean got near enough he could see the red staining the previously solid brown cloth. A few more seconds of searching and he found the wound, the Commander prodded it gently, there was no reaction from Eren, he poked a little harder and found that there was something in the wound.

He picked Eren up, finding that the slighter male was incredibly light; almost like didn't weigh a thing, and judging by the bones poking him Eren was underweight. Jean shook his head, he didn't have time to think something like that. He sped up his pace while trying to keep from jostling Eren too much.

_Why did I have to come alone?_  Jean yelled in his head, picking up his pace, Eren was a lot colder than he had been when he had first picked him up.

"Bon Dieu, Eren."

After maneuvering the streets for awhile Jean finally came upon the base, Hanji's light was still on, thank once there was no one but the guards in the hallway, and even they knew better than to question their Commander running through the halls with an unconscious boy. He reached Hanji's door in record time, shoving it open with his foot and causing it to crash into the wall with a loud bang.

"Something happened to Eren, he's injured, there's something in the wound, and he's lost a lot of blood." Jean explained quickly as he set Eren down on the examination table. Hanji was on her feet the second that the Commander had burst into her room and was now shoving him away from her patient.

She yanked open Eren's shirt to get a clearer view of the wound. "Commander go get rags and a bowl of water."

Hanji heard Jean hurry out of the room. She quickly turned her attention to the wound in the light she could see a tiny sliver of silver. Frowning she grabbed the tweezer and pulled at the foreign object, it budged slightly and as it did, blood welled up from deep in the wound. Immediately Hanji stopped tugging at it, and decided to wait for Jean to return.

Jean returned in a short amount of time, carrying a bowl of hot water and a lot of rags. "How is he?"

"Not good, I can't tell what caused it yet, but there is something embedded deep, most likely it struck something vital with the amount of bleeding it cause when I moved it slightly." Hanji explained taking a rag and dipping into the water.

She started to clean the dried blood off, and there was a lot of it. She swallowed, wondering what could do this to a person. She was dipping the cloth back in the water when Jean spoke up.

"There's some blood on his hand as well."

Hanji dropped the rag back into the water and grabbed the appendage, gauging the wound, it was a deep and long cut in the palm. Almost as if Eren had wrapped his hand around a double edged blade and squeezed. Pursing her lips, Hanji went around the table to look at the other hand, the only injury was a shallow cut on the tip of the finger.

"A blade is what did this, I think it's what's in his chest as well." Hanji mumbled.

"So someone stabbed him?" Jean asked setting the bowl on the instrument table.

"I don't think so, you would've noticed a struggle, and no one knew you were going out tonight."

Jean shifted. "So then, what did this? Blades don't impale themselves."

Hanji shrugged, reaching over and grabbed the soaked rag and dabbing at the still leaking wound. She took her time to examine what changes had occurred since Eren's last visit. His veins had become a dark purple green blend, and in a spider web like pattern. The infection had gotten worse, she guessed. Eren had decided to stop coming to their appointments, since Hanji had told him about his situation.

The part of the shirt that Hanji had ripped back showed only a few of the mysterious lumps, and they were darker and slightly larger than they had been the last time that she had seen them, and maybe more numerous; however they weren't her main concern.

"Commander, I'm going to have to do emergency surgery to remove the object, do you mind helping out?"

Jean shrugged. "I don't think I'm exactly qualified, but I'll try."

"You would just be handing me my tools."

Jean nodded. Hanji wiped a little more blood off.

"This is going to be a dangerous surgery for him. I'm guessing he lost a lot of blood."

"He's lost a lot more before." Jean countered, calling up false confidence.

Hanji sighed. "That's when he was younger, healthier, and could access his titan powers almost at will."

"So we could lose him?"

Hanji set her face into a grim frown. "We were always going to lose him, the moment that this illness entered his body, there wasn't a cure for it, and from all that I studied it attacked the what was purely titan, but Eren isn't a pure titan so it got confused and went on a rampage in his body."

Jean's eyes widened in surprise, but only because of the explanation, he knew for a long time that this was only going to be a matter of time before Eren died.

"We need to get started, or he really will die. Hand me the scalpel."

Jean did so and she grabbed her scalpel, and widened the wound to give her more room to work, mopping up the new blood that came from her incision.

"Tweezers."

Jean handed her the tools quickly and took the dirty tool and cleaned it off. Hanji carefully gripped the object and tried to wiggle it free, continuously wiping the blood that came to the surface.

"New rag."

Jean swapped out the soiled cloth for a brand new one, still warm from the water. She continued her rotation of wiggle, pull, wipe. She got quite a bit of the object out of Eren out before she realized what it was, and she was able to identify it by the rivulets running across the blade.

"Its a piece of one the 3DMG blades." She whispered.

"What? Where the hell does someone find one of those?" Jean exclaimed.

Hanji ignored him and went back to her rotation slowly removing the blade, knowing that any sudden movements would cause the blade to rip whatever it was embedded in and cause Eren to lose a lot of blood, something he wouldn't be able to recover from. She wasn't entirely sure he was going to recover from the amount he had already lost in this weakened state. Hanji shook her head, she needed to worry about the task at hand and not what could be.

It took a little bit longer before she was at the point where she could get the blade out of Eren's body without risking it cutting anything mopped at the blood, Eren's chest had long since turned a russet color from the smeared blood. With a long exhale she made sure that she held the blade exactly how it was angled in the wound and carefully began to tug it out. The piece stalled for a second but then it came out easily.

The scientist was surprised by the length of the blade, it had done a lot of damage upon entering Eren, with just its length alone it could've hit something major, and a puncture that deep was always life threatening.

She heard Jean whistle. "Wow, that's a long piece of shrapnel."

Hanji laid the blade sharde on the surgical table. "Needle and thread."

The Commander took her scalpel and tweezers and gave her the thread and a needle. With ease she threaded the needle and began to sew of the injury. This was the easiest part of the procedure she thought.

When she was done she broke off the loose thread so that Eren couldn't pull out his stitches, though she gave herself enough so that when it was time to remove them it would be a little easier. Finally she was able to stand up straight for what seemed like the first time in an hour.

"Good work Hanji." Jean spoke, as he was cleaning the tools the best he could.

"Don't say that until we're sure he's going to live." She replied.

The Commander just gave her a look. "I'm sure he is."

Hanji shrugged. "It depends on Eren. I did what I could, and you got him here as fast as you could. We all did our best."

Secretly, Jean wondered if Hanji was hiding something and it also occurred to him that he would have to tell Mikasa and Armin what happened, that wasn't something he wanted to do. Especially since both of them were out on missions, they would have to come back to the news of this.

Jean set the medical tool his was cleaning down. "If you don't mind, I'll leave Eren in your care and return to my office."

Hanji waved him off, she had already returned to examining various things on Eren's body. The Commander turned on his heel and walked out of the laboratory. The feeling of dread hadn't quite left him.

When he returned to his office he attempted to start to work on some paper work; instead he fell asleep. He only woke up once heard a knock on his door. It took him a second to take in his surroundings. It had been dark when he returned to his office, but now it was nearing daylight if the hazy orange lighting his office was anything to go by. He rubbed his face with his hand, and tried to make it seem like he hadn't just woke up.

"Come in." He called and then cleared his throat.

Hanji appeared from behind the door, her face was blank, but there was something there that alerted Jean to the fact that she didn't have good news.

"What happened?" There was only one reason she would be at his office in the early morning, it was so obvious.

"He...Eren...I'm sorry he didn't make it."

Jean let out a long breath from his mouth, almost as if he was blowing out the bad feeling he was having. It wasn't a surprise to hear those words, he had expected them for a long time, but for some reason it was still shocking for it to happen. "How?"

"I assume it was a combination of things, but the stress his body went through trying to replenish its blood supply was what probably killed him." Hanji replied, her tone was clipped, matter-of-fact and eerily similar to Corporal Levi's "your child died in the expedition voice."

Jean chewed on his tongue thinking, letting the information settle. "Did he have much longer?"

"From the state of his external body I would say he didn't, I'll check when I do the autopsy." Hanji replied.

For a few minutes Jean sat there, fingers steepled together. From how they were both acting it was almost like they weren't talking about the kid that Jean had known since they were both teenagers, or that the hero of humanity hadn't just died. Though the Commander knew that this day was coming he had been hoping to starve off burying any friends for several more years. Eren was always difficult, ruining the carefullest of plans.

"Okay. Give me the report when you get it done." Jean didn't understand it, the sudden need for Eren to go outside and the mysterious knife wound. Though it wasn't that hard to figure out what happened, the commander just didn't get it, why would anyone do that when they were on death's door?

He pushed his hand through his hair, the next step was alerting the next of kin. Even though he knew both of them, he still felt like he should give them a formal summons, keep some semblance of dignity as Eren to most people was a savior.

With another sigh, he rummaged around for the good stationary and the good ink. Jean kept the quill in the inkwell for a long time before he decided on what he should say in the letter and what should be told in person.

By the time he was finished all he had was a short paragraph commanding their arrival at the earliest convenience. Jean hoped that since this was a formal summons they would get the hint that something was amiss. He had no doubts, Armin and Mikasa made it through the war after all; they had seen this sort of thing many times.

* * *

Armin had a slight inkling what the sudden summons was about from Jean. That didn't stop him from clutching the letter tightly in his hands as he read the words, or the tightness in his jaw as he informed his second that he would be returning to headquarters for something urgent. He packed his gear up and mounted his horse.

The journey was over faster than he expected, never mind him using the military march way of travel that conserved their horses strength. Armin also had less time to prepare himself if what he thought they were being called in for was what had actually happened. It was inevitable, but he was hoping that this was just their warning. But the strategist knew that Jean wouldn't have been so formal if it had been a warning.

The blond was surprised to find Mikasa arriving at roughly the same time as him. They shared a look. It seemed that his childhood friend was of a similar mindset.

They walked to the commander's office in a brisk pace, neither of them said a word. Armin desperately wanted to break the silence but he couldn't find the words to say. The sound of their boats hitting the wooden floor was heavy in the hallways. A few of the newer soldiers leapt to the side their backs pressed against the wall as heroes of the war passed them by. The blond could never get used to it, they weren't heroes they were just survivors.

Armin knocked on the door, once they reached Jean's office. He could hear a loud thump and shuffling of papers. The blond guessed that Jean hadn't been prepared for the disturbance, he wondered why since the letters had been sent out almost two weeks ago.

"Come in."

Without another pause, Mikasa took charge and opened the door walking in without introducing herself. Armin followed after, quietly shutting the door. His natural curiosity was piqued at the situation, but it settled quickly when he saw the state that the Commander was in. There wasn't another word for it but tired.

"Ah, you're here. Quick too." Jean straightened himself behind his desk, Armin happened to notice the red spot on his cheek; almost like he had been sleeping on his arm.

"The letter said it was urgent." Mikasa replied.

Armin stood up taller when he saw that she was standing at attention. He briefly wondered if the was a military matter.

Jean folded his hands on top of his desk. "You may want to sit down."

It wasn't exactly a command, but both soldiers followed it, sitting across from the Commander.

"Commander, why did you call us here so urgently?" Mikasa said after some time watching as Jean opened and closed his mouth but never saying anything.

"Its about Eren."

The words, though they were only air seemed to fall heavily in the room. Armin felt himself tense up, he had been wondering about the state of his friend for some time but he couldn't ever get the time to visit nor were letters helpful as the information was old by the time it reached him. Mikasa's face was blank.

"He's dead."

Armin felt the breath leave his lungs, a little in part because of what was said but the other in part because of how it was said. Jean and Eren's dislike of each other was well known, but this... to be so callous about his death it was unheard of.

"Wha-" Armin began.

"You're lying." Mikasa cut across him, her voice was icy.

Jean leaned back. "I'm not. It happened the date those letters were addressed, it was Hanji that pronounced him dead in the first place."

Mikasa inhaled. "I need proof."

"Go check the morgue."

The black-haired women stood up and left the room in a rush. Armin watched as she left, wondering if he should do the same, instead he found Jean's eyes trained on him with an arched eyebrow.

"Aren't you going with her?"

"No. I'll find out when she comes back. What happened?"

Jean turned his head to look out of the window for a few moments before returning his gaze back to Armin.

"Well, a week ago Eren asked me to take him to the Survey Corps statue and I did. Then he asked to sit under the nearest tree, and I took him there. Then when he hadn't said anything for a while I went to check on him and found that he had a piece of shrapnel buried deep within his chest. He didn't make it through the night. Hanji said it was due to the stress his body underwent."

Armin listened quietly. The story was strange, but he knew Jean was telling the truth. He was confused by what Jean was saying though. "Wasn't he supposed to be getting better?"

"According to the autopsy report the illness or whatever he had was progressed to the point where it would've killed him no matter what, and in a short amount of time." Jean replied.

"What about the wound?" Armin asked softly.

"The report said that it was likely self inflicted as there was a matching gash on his hand where the blade would've cut into him as it was pushed through." The commander said, and then he sighed. "What I don't understand, and maybe you do, but why would he take his own life?"

Armin didn't answer for some time. "What was his last day like, prior to him requesting you take him to the statue?"

Jean shrugged. "He was pretty bad, he could barely move anymore, not even to slightly change his position, that had to be done by someone else, he didn't eat or talk much, and mostly slept."

"But then the day he asked that?"

"He was like when you came to visit, able to move better, talking more, he looked more alive."

Armin noted the irony in the statement. "I think it was because he knew."

Jean fell silent, both of them knowing what the statement mean without them having to say the meaning. It didn't hurt any less. Armin was actually surprised that he hadn't broken down yet, the situation didn't feel real, but he knew that it was only a matter of time before the first tear fell. After that he was sure it was going to be easy for him to start. He'd known Eren for most of his life, they were best friends, and for him to suddenly be gone like that... It wasn't like he was a stranger to death, he'd seen enough. Though, those deaths always happened to be in the midst of battle, where they would be honored as heroes and put on a plaque for people centuries later to learn about. Would it be the same for Eren, a warrior who died by his own hand.

Somehow he didn't think it would be. The world was cruel like that.

Mikasa came back in, her scarf trailing behind her due to the speed she was walking. Her gray eyes shone with emotion that hadn't been there since she was a kid. Armin felt pressure behind his eyes as he realized that this wasn't a dream, he never thought it was, because even in his most vivid of dreams he knew that he wouldn't be able to think of the storm of emotions in her eyes or Jean's apparent callousness to it all.

* * *

The funeral was only a few days after that. There was no need to keep the body around anymore, and there weren't any friends or family to wait on that weren't already there. In the end, the government had decided that there was no need for the funeral to be broadcast. Let the hero die in anonymity. Let him be the unkillable legend many had made him out to be.

The whole thing made Mikasa sick.

She didn't care that her brother's grave wouldn't be a high traffic area, or that the small church that they had found wouldn't be filled with people like the other corps member's funerals had been. Eren would've liked it that way.

Besides there were more people alive to care about funerals back then. They were more elation than funerals. It was a tribute to the victory from the Titans.

No. It wasn't the fact that there was no one there. It was how it was done.

Jean signed off on the paper work without so much as a grimace. It had been a report to him, just another death to deal with. Hanji had explained the whole thing so scientifically it was like she viewed Eren more as an experiment than a person.

Armin hadn't spoken at the funeral, and she hadn't either.

It wasn't how she thought losing Eren would be.

She had always thought that he would go out in a great blaze of glory. Ripped away in the heat of battle when she was least expecting it. Dying heroically. Dying a hero's death.

Maybe that's why her stomach was in knots and she couldn't keep anything down.

They had expected this from the beginning, since he first collapsed. She had time to accept that he was dying, and so did Armin. They had said their goodbyes. Not really, but they would suffice.

Jean had probably been waiting for the day he could sign off on the paperwork. Just to be done with it. A finality that he always strove for.

Maybe it was easier for Hanji to ignore that it was a friend she had failed to heal and treat. It was easier to say a mystery illness claimed a stranger.

It was understandable, but it still made her sick.

It made her sick that when the coffin was finally lowered in the nondescript grave she was relieved.

Eren was at peace.

She was peace.

All was right with the world. And it felt right that it was right.

Somehow that made it worse.

The world would keep turning and the birds singing and people living in blissful ignorance of what they lost.

Though she would likely never understand why Eren took his own life, she understood that it was his last act that he could do. Before the illness became worse.

For the first time since the fall of the Titan's Mikasa breathed and the air felt fresh. Alive.

The Titan's had truly fallen now.

* * *

_And our story ends with this. Eren taking his own life, for what some thought selfish reasons. No one has been able to figure out why he did as he did. Yet, these days, many think this a legend, and old folklore. Who knows the truth of what happened many years ago. Who knows yesterday's truth. It makes for a good story, at the very least. If they were real, then they haven't died, not yet. They still live on through this story. That's the greatest gift we can give our saviors._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god, that was so hard to finish. There's probably a lot of mistakes in grammar and spelling. Sorry. As well as cannon data, and also I don't speak french so I used a translator. Translations below. Thanks for reading! Leave your thoughts below! Later! ~IF
> 
> Le lieu de fantaisie – The fancy place
> 
> Comment êtes-vous plus ennuyeux quand vous êtes endormi que lorsque vous êtes éveillé?–
> 
> How are you more annoying when you are asleep than when you are awake?
> 
> Vous êtes ennuyeux indépendamment –You're annoying regardless
> 
> Vous causez beaucoup de problèmes – You cause many problems

**Author's Note:**

> Okay prologue done! It'll be long one-shot after this, mainly because I'm too lazy and won't update it if it's more than one chapter in a timely fashion (glances at Used and TSTS) So hope you enjoyed and give me feedback!


End file.
